Cruella broke my brain

Cruella broke my brain

ah i i i i don’t know how i’m gonna even talk about this one but i’m gonna try cruella so i saw it i was gonna say not by choice it was by choice but like i didn’t go out of my way so when my partner liz and i went to see uh the suicide squad at the drive-in the drive-ins have a double feature and the other film we saw was cruella which i didn’t think i was ever going to get around to i was not going to pay premier access when it hit um disney plus and i wasn’t going to venture out to the theater to go see it and i thought you know what by the time it’s free on disney plus to stream i probably won’t care anymore but uh i’ve now seen it and wow wow um oh god i i know some people who really like this movie and i get why some people really like this movie if i was of a different bend in my um proclivities in terms of what like you know just hits the right spot for me this i could i could see a universe where this gets slotted into the sort of that’s my trash kind of pile but uh it doesn’t quite get there for me but like i totally they i get why people like it or even love it like have a lot of fun with it i get it i just i don’t know what to do with this thing okay um i’m gonna talk spoilers uh across the thing i have to i can’t i can’t not um so the first thing you need to do is you need to divorce the idea that this is a prequel setting up cruella de vil as we know her from the 101 dalmatians anime film or even the live action with glenn close because that was a that’s was pretty much the same character this cruella is somebody else entirely taking a few elements of her personality a little bit of her look but that’s kind of it this is very much its own thing and to its credits the movie does establish that very early on honestly i’d say the clear breaking point is the introduction of anita anita in the original film being um you know the wife of the couple who had the dalmatians and in this movie she’s black which is fine no it’s not diversity casting i would actually argue that it serves an incredibly practical purpose which is to go yeah this is definitely not the same person this is definitely not the same world this is definitely not the same cruella not that that’s like the only thing to clue you in but that’s like the that’s one of the earliest things to let you know like yeah because which was smart because if they didn’t make a clean break from that and make it clear that we’re dealing with like an elseworlds cruel or something multiverse i don’t know if it didn’t do that then it was going to be in the unenviable position of trying to make a film where you make an anti-hero out of someone who wants to skin dogs just because they like the look of the fur that ain’t gonna work so the film doesn’t try to do that smartly the stuff that it does do however i okay i’m just gonna be running through stuff that kind of broke my brain let’s start with the fact that cruella that half white hair thing she’s born that way so rather than being what it seemed very clearly in the original which is a strange fashion choice by a narcissist now it’s something that she is picked on has to hide like okay maybe that was them leaning into the wicked thing with like elphaba being born green i don’t know it really doesn’t matter it serves no purpose she just dyes her hair wears a wig for most of the movie and it doesn’t matter but it was a choice they made i don’t know why but they made it so there’s stuff like that and then i did tell you there’d be spoilers cruella’s mom is killed by dalmatians her mother is knocked off a cliff by dalmatians and and here’s the thing i knew that was coming i had found that out prior to uh going to this movie and yet even knowing it was coming i laughed my ass off i could not believe what i had just i ca i can’t believe somebody thought of it i can’t believe somebody pitched it i can’t believe a room of writer’s producer director whoever went yes that’s the thing we’re gonna put in this movie what [Music] oh god the phrase that has been stuck in my head about this movie is audaciously stupid this movie is nuts and dumb but it goes forth boldly and with conviction and props to it for that i suppose ah here’s the thing i would i almost i almost said this knows exactly what it wants to be except i’m not sure that’s true because it ends up being like a half dozen things it’s an origin story for a villain it’s a heist it’s a mystery it he it it’s it’s the devil wears prada with a yeah you know it’s it keeps changing what it is it’s doing and i’ll tell you what it knows the mood that it wants it can’t seem to settle on a genre other than late 60s early 70s and yes i do honestly believe that the people who made this think late 60s early 70s is a genre if the soundtrack is anything to go by now okay when it comes to the soundtrack the soundtrack is a bunch of great music but it is it it really does feel like somebody took a greatest classic rock hits of the 60s and 70s mix hit shuffle and whatever song came up whenever they needed a needle drop they just used that song and sometimes it was super on the nose like with these boots are made for walking and other times it makes no damn sense at all like why is car wash a song in this movie i that one oh god i lost it again when that song came on and like there’s a lot of these i swear the only stretches that go for longer than two minutes without a needle drop are the rare stretches where they actually have a musical score there are some it is it is suicide squad 2016 levels of so frequent these needle drops and again good songs but da that’s that’s that’s an overload um and the performances are um well nobody held back you know they’re not they’re not bad but they’re i don’t know there’s something i don’t know i don’t know what to make of this movie i don’t even i don’t even feel comfortable calling it bad but it’s nuts it’s absolutely out of its mind if you want the highlight it’s wink which is a dog and yes the character who is okay so like here’s here’s an idea of where i think maybe the uh the priorities were misaligned while i said and i stand by having said that it is a good thing that this movie distanced itself from the original cartoon film because we cannot make that version of cruella sympathetic however it is possible to stray too far in the opposite direction because what is cruella most famous for wanting to skin puppies that’s what if you know cruella de vil you know that about her that’s the one thing everybody knows about cruella de vil so when you have her ostensible origin movie end and she just has five dogs like as pets and seems to like them more or less what what are we even doing here like i’m not saying that you should have backed up the idea that she wanted to skin dogs don’t get away from that idea but like this is such a 180 on that notion it’s like and three of those dogs that she’s got at the end are the dalmatians that killed her oh god i almost got through saying it the dalmatians that killed her mother and she’s just like chilling with the dogs who are you like again move away from the from the dog skinning idea but like this is just like you’re just chilling with dog what ah i don’t know i don’t know with this movie like it it’s fun and like but it’s weird and like so many decisions i’m like why and if you’re trying to make this a villain origin you should have ended it at the end of act 2 where she actually felt villainous as opposed to the proper end of the thing where she feels more outright heroic or at least justified in what’s gone on apparently he’s getting a sequel i’m gonna be more morbidly curious because this it’s cruella i have no descriptors it is like nothing other than itself which may mean you love it may mean you hate it or may mean if you’re like me that you are just baffled by this thing cruella did you see it what did you think about it whatever your thoughts are drop something out of the comments let’s talk about it this movie broke my brain i just i keep ah i got a patreon if you want to help me finance reconstructing my brain again um and you know if you’re not able to do that the other stuff like share subscribe they help me out don’t sweat it though we take a relaxed attitude around here so come on back next time you need a break [Music] [Applause] [Music] um [Music]
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Cruella broke my brain

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