THE EX EPISODE… CANCELLED EP 3

THE EX EPISODE… CANCELLED EP 3

cancer don’t remember doing this at all i can only hold myself accountable look how good my life is so what else animoji is cancelled i just spilled red bull literally directly inside my nipple ring you’re so i’m so i’m soaking wet you guys right and holders just look of disdain [Laughter] hello and welcome back to yet another episode of the canceled podcast we’ve made it to three episodes without a lawsuit without stopping production it’s pretty amazing guys that’s a pretty big thing i’m gonna give this little round of applause for that you know what it’s just uh clapping no one’s here today are you gonna talk i’m just kidding all the comments said brooke shut the [ __ ] up um i asked everyone on twitter what they wanted to hear about and the number the top two things people want to hear about first of all is how we came about to being friends again okay people are very like they’re just utterly shocked at the fact that two people can fight and then fix a friendship and that there’s no real hatred there and like well i’m gonna say i never left the friendship with you craig hunter i make sure friends are okay i just gotta put that in there i don’t fight first of all he deserves the recognition because we know a lot some people were fake some people wanted me dead a lot of people aren’t very true i’m sorry we will we’re going to get into that one a little later um because i think that there’s a lot to a lot i need to drink a little bit more before we get back together there’s a lot there’s a lot to break down but but the other thing that a lot of people were asking about a lot is about if i still have a stalker or updates on my story i got something that’s for me i don’t know if i’m educated enough on the stalker yeah i don’t even know really much about brooke actually wasn’t really around during the the truth stalker era we’re gonna have to bleep his name his name shout out he started all of me you never trust a guy yeah no sincerely should i just say his name i’ve never said my stalker’s name so because i’ll probably get killed that’s like guessing like high i think you’re not supposed to yeah yeah and i don’t know where he is right now he like he likes to move around to keep me on my toes all right i don’t know how much i mean maybe i’ll just [ __ ] say it that’s kind of some big t but with that being said we have a new stalker everyone’s been asking about updates on people coming to the house and we’ve upped our security absolutely psychotically like it’s it’s so annoying it’s more expensive than literally the house itself it is it is so so so [ __ ] annoying but we have 90 000 [ __ ] guards outside finally but the reason that we chose to up our security 90 000 it’s like danica like there’s 20 000 people outside 20 000 people oh my god hunter was there for that that was so bad he was like there’s not twenty thousand people in the [ __ ] letter hold me accountable people have been coming for you guys for like saying you like [ __ ] on me but it’s like if i wanted a podcast of yes man i would just i’m saying have that same we are your height man behind closed doors and in front of you we will talk that’s the thing if anyone were to talk to me about tana who’s like when she’s not around i’m like oh my god she’s brilliant she’s smart she’s amazing she’s beautiful dude i would love to hear this alleged hype you know what i mean it sounds it sounds no i’m kidding they actually are amazing friends i’ll say it again but um i want to read to you this note that was left on my door this week and i went straight to david crying because i don’t want to live in this house anymore we’re going to put it up on the screen so you can see it it’s beautiful um and it says letter to tana moshe hello gorgeous this is a secret letter from your biggest lover who also happens to have a large social media following that’s huge so you know she loves him already me praying it’s like mr beast here is a clue to my identity we love that too that brings back the og soccer to me you know what i mean when it’s like a little puzzle freaks me the [ __ ] out too because i think it’s one thing to like stalk but to be like here’s a clue like you’re gonna [ __ ] kill this is fun it’s like an escape room except it’s my own life what is old but acts young at the same time jason i was just going to say jason nash i swear to god i was just going to say that jason i swear to god i was just going to say that that was so strange oh my god p.s p.s i am friends with the previous owner of this house winky emoji post post on all signs pointing to jason post on a story and tag me if you know who this is dash your secret lover do they know how much your stories cost first of all yeah like first of all [ __ ] you it’s like for free like no free cloud and also why would i literally literally you’re gonna stalk me for [ __ ] freak out but like at the same time i also would never post that because it would just like incline them to like stalk me more exactly every time you post something i feel like it makes people like want to show up but the riddle has been [ __ ] me in the face dude the riddle’s very weird what is old but young at the same time yeah i gave you my answer no i i was like googling it it’s not a common riddle like do you think i’m that smart if you’re stalking me like like maybe like two plus two minutes so like if you’re if you’re actually someone that you know they would have been like hahaha you saw that message by now like they would have it’s been like a couple weeks no i don’t know if i left a riddle and no one like fully understood it i’d probably just take it to the grave like that’s kind of weird right i also like i i racked my brain i asked david i don’t think it’s one of david’s friends we checked the cameras and you can see their shadow and it’s like it’s like a tiny person like maybe like big neck but he’s like not on good term right you know what i mean i don’t know maybe i should apologize for what i did that one time when you were still scared about your stalker and i did come to your house and cause an absolute ruckus oh before he had a mental health brand this man was mean yeah this man was okay also let’s clarify before this happened she took my car out for a day she’s like my assistant needs a barrier car gave my car back wrapped with her face this is not the time you’re welcome this is not the timeline i lived at alamar when i wrapped your car this is not the timeline this is not my townhome ask yourself no you did that about it no i i pranked i no i rode all over your walls with little oh yeah that way worse yeah she completely demolished my entire apartment where i did not have money to fix you completely demolished my entire life yeah it’s a little different let’s talk about me um she wrote like [ __ ] you all stuff doesn’t clean it up cheated entirely i hate entirely a whole year so every time i had a friend you didn’t clean it up it wasn’t cleanable you had to paint it red lipstick that she could put like on a white wall it was actually like really important i don’t even know where you buy a new door and it was a wall the walls in the apartment too not just my door and like he shared the apartment with roommates and they were [ __ ] anyways so in return for this i i was being heavily stalked at the time a week before we were sleeping your bed and my stalker was outside your house remember that and we like had to leave with like a knife like they were tracking her find my iphone and they sent me sent her my address and said we’re coming to your house how do they have your find my iphone maybe they were in my own cloud this was the time when i had an icloud i still do not i can’t have an icloud because it’s like the number one way people stalk me is they go inside my icloud and like go on my find my iphone my find my friends and like stalk the [ __ ] out of me and like look at my photos middle of the night like 4am we just got in my car i grabbed the knife steak knife god no psycho and then a week later hunter decided to [ __ ] wait till i was at my house and like push flower under my door cover everything with chocolate syrup i i threw chocolate syrup all across her her or flower at her place and like through some ham or something like that so you like tp’ed her basically pretty much yes but imagine like your peak being stalked and you’re just like sitting in your town yeah like knocking them and texting me being like they’re shoving powder under the door they are coming in and i was just knowing her she’s probably like amplifying it’s time to go oh yeah you just knocked down obviously because i just did it five minutes before she’s like yeah i’m at the gym like i’ll see you in a little bit and like then she’s like they’re at my house i’m like how do you know they’re at your house you’re liars i’m trying to lie to you like fit and whatever i called the police too and the police literally were just treating me like a [ __ ] idiot they were like are you sure this isn’t like a crazy ex-boyfriend i was like no no what do you think someone’s pranking i’m like no he won’t [ __ ] date me yeah i just made it at facetime you’re like five minutes later in like all camo with like two of my roommates just like what’s up what’s going on yeah it was absolutely evil i’m not going to lie to you so i mean now to discuss other things that have happened this week i mean the podcast went number one i think that we could just start on a high note and go crazy from there the podcast number one i me acting like we have anything to do with it maybe hunter no no i think she i’ve been posting it like crazy i’m like no i am so [ __ ] grateful it’s ridiculous i’m not kidding i really didn’t think that we would be able to do like anything like i’d like no numbers i really thought we’d be like 30 of 30 on a chart maybe so to thank people it’s almost like so much pressure just to think people like are expecting this amazing it’s like i was saying that it i’m like more nervous going into this one than the last one because now i feel like people are listening i know like now you know and now i know what they thought about me the first time the whole time i’m going to be like first of all my lip injections gotta go well brooke loves to read comments and like never i will never comment i will never read comments again after today because the whole day i was like flyers oh my god they hate me the whole time it’s like why the [ __ ] is mindy on the podcast i’m like i’m sorry no it’s good because you give me like feedback we were talking today about how i just like literally don’t give a [ __ ] at all but like you obviously like take a tart i think it’s a good balance though someone’s gotta care for it you’re so so good at receiving hate i’ve never seen anybody receive something so well someone says one thing about me and it’ll like wreck my day i think when you just get god damn beat you down no one like doesn’t know about me so when someone like cares enough to comment something awful about me i’m like okay like fair enough i mean i feel like i’ve just like heard at this point there’s nothing someone could say to me like as mean as it possibly is i feel like i’ve heard it before so it’s like it’s it’s a weird it’s a weird thing i don’t even know i mean now the next thing i really want to talk about i’m going completely out of order though is our roommate my best friend your best friend your best friend ari has been going more viral than the [ __ ] podcast this is the best thing ever for this he needed so badly he is so pumped dude and why i’m like that should be me like why couldn’t it have been me i mean i don’t know if you guys you’re telling me literally last week i sat on this very podcast and talked about how i’m sexually attracted to bryce hall and two minutes later my best friend is kissing him on the streets of [ __ ] la i’m like i’m i don’t know if you guys know this about bryce but he he does kiss everyone when he’s strong it’s kind of like me i used to be terrible at this utterly [ __ ] terrible utterly terrible at the party i remember one time i kissed like 30 people at a house party and like all of my current like man’s friends and it was just terrible so i i’ve held back since then but bryce is very much like that and kisses everyone and we were leaving and he was like are you kissed me and i’m sitting there just like all the paparazzi there and all the paparazzi team bryce um and they’re all [ __ ] sitting there i’m just like god that i wish that was me and then they kissed and it went viral three kisses by the way well you know ari was going back for more good measures can we roll the clip ari and bryce there he is right there oh okay he went in for the first kiss and he went for a second oh wait wait wait wait run that back turbo it like the way it i it gives me a little secondhand embarrassment and i can’t really watch it i know i don’t have room to talk because my paparazzi videos are just god absolutely terrible just kidding it’s really like you’re really not that bad i we need to have an episode where we react to all the terrible paparazzi brooklyn tried to save me so much from that and i just don’t listen okay so he goes he goes kiss kiss and then from what or how ari recalls the situation bryce said oh i thought you were really going to kiss me and so that ari goes and like kisses him on the lips but then bryce is like bryce like had a completely different explanation of the situation probably to save it’s a really hard situation because both are cap like like ari would lie yeah honest to god but i really honestly do kind of oh there’s me i honestly in a very strange way kind of ship it i would love i like obviously like we’re all just making jokes and like i don’t know bryce’s like sexuality he’s always just been like very funny i saw a lot of tick tocks that were saying that he had like one time previously come out or something i don’t know if that’s true or not so i don’t i don’t think that’s true of course i don’t i don’t know i don’t think that’s if he did that’s kind of hot i’ve been into that lately like i have evan mock do you guys know evan mom no no he’s on the new gossip girl he’s a pink hair he’s really good friends with makoa actually really but he’s so unbelievably hot and he’s bisexual and for some reason that to me like makes him way hotter i don’t know whatever that’s my new thing i’m so genuinely pissed this this moment wasn’t me like i’m not like funny though because everyone started doing it now like harry is like you know what if you saw how much aria was doing he’s like oh harry’s such a little [ __ ] clown clout farmer isn’t that what he is honestly like it inspires me that’s what he says about farming always like everyone always gets mad at people for being like you know what i mean cloud farming hungry when you think about it when it’s your career to be in the spotlight if you have an insight into you know what i mean like how to do that how to promote yourself in a way especially like the paparazzi already filming you i always like really admire that but you’re so good at that i feel like well when i find someone else who is like it just makes my little difference text me the other morning asking to shoot while having sex like a voice memo when i say that and i saved it and you have to hear this wait i want to see oh my god please we’re rolling on this conversation like that’s so crazy i was out of town are you kidding me that is insane that’s the most disturbing thing oh that is so harry johnson you’re called out the way that is it’s literally the way harry’s been called out so much on this podcast 6 55 a.m just beat and cheeks voice memoing you like that’s [ __ ] insane hunter and harry are like besties for the rest it’s very cute no that was the most disturbing thing i’ve ever heard brooke’s just like that’s just me he’s off the roster he threatened to take me off the roster the other day he said something we were playing a game we were playing like are we even on right yeah yeah we were playing like like naughty jenga or something and it was like like you would put take like a little block out and then it would have like a crazy question on it and his question was like how many girls have you made out with so what really wasn’t that naughty of a question i remember harry literally going less than i’ve slept with haha first of all that was british but i get where you were going he literally said i’ve made out with less girls than i’ve slept with meaning he like sleeps with you yeah doesn’t make out and doesn’t kiss them and i go that’s so disgusting he looks straight at me and he goes i’ll take you off my roster oh he’s like you’re like please so no no no no keep in mind this is all like charlie jordan’s house her and taylor just trying to play like an innocent you know what i mean like like like a cute little sleepover game and meanwhile i’m like me and harry just came and [ __ ] ruined that so this past weekend we went to the most hunter really pulled to make a wish for me i’m not gonna lie to you he granted me with the best gift anyone could ever give me and that is taking me to see justin bieber it i did it was yeah well make sure friends are okay throw in the brand promo gotta get it guys he has a company make sure your friends are okay if you didn’t know an amazing event where you couldn’t get tickets to it you can only do charity work typically to go and of course i did my outro before she did some hours just going in yeah just picking up trash we did go and it was the best concert i’ve been to dude it was it was so fun because triller was also like sponsoring it along with your brand big ups for you you and true they’re just [ __ ] hand in hand like that i’m out here like begging you begging to get a dildo brand deal for the podcast brooke hunter what’s going on it’s the age old question no feel free to ask are you getting enough no it’s never enough dude i’d be asking this all the time and i swear i’m always getting enough and then you guys are just left in the desk she’s getting more than enough and she’s getting enough for all three of us i think so too wow i’ve never thought about it like that each holes for you guys sorry i bet you’d love more right i mean sure what do you have to offer not personally but all three homes well adamandeve.com alongside me wants to give you more okay okay with 50 off just about any item from sex swings to handcuffs to lingerie to butt plugs to restraints to double penetration dildos hunter i know you love those what how do you know that i have no interest plus free shipping on your entire order imagine getting all of that and then shipped to your door for free freeze credit for free so all you have to do to get your 50 on one item and free shipping it’s not hard go to adamandeve.com and select any one item it could be an adventurous new toy or anything you desire just enter offer code tana at checkout and you’ll get 50 off almost any item go to adamandeve.com today select one item and get fifty percent off including free shipping when you enter offer code tana that’s t-a-n-a if you can’t spell lake bella thorne that is oh my god i don’t know why i attacked her i was just bored i’m sorry that’s t-a-n-a adamandeve.com you heard it here it was so fun because all the like all the tick talkers went i i don’t am i allowed to say this i was fully taking shots with miss heidi emilio and it made my life it was so funny she was such an icon i spent most of my time with the demilios i love when they when they do charity work i know they won’t claim me i’m not asking them to literally deny this send me a cease and desist but i love that family once she got access to like the back room which was like where all the alcohol was she did not see any artist until justin came out i think she even missed the first song of justin i’m like yo get out here and she’s sprinting and you’re the biggest belieber i know literally ever ever ever ever like i i died there’s no artist in the world that i would like die to see yeah harry bryce and i were really [ __ ] up the bar and i’m like obviously harry’s such a clown farmer so we were just back there farming our clout with everyone all the little ceos and [ __ ] but seeing justin bieber was hunter just i was sobbing you were scream crying i think i had marks across my neck from your nails it was so cute all the stories that you posted her she was really like actually sobbing i’ve never been a believer i love justin bieber like as a person yeah but i i don’t know and he looked so happy there’s just there’s something about the way i love justin and i feel like in the lower times like when he was performing you could tell he didn’t want to you know what i mean it’s just like obviously when you’re touring like that and you have all the pressures of everything but like it was like he was so happy to be on stage and i was just uncontrollably crying it wasn’t he deserves this like no there’s not one video of me there looking like literally pretty at all like like cute like she looked really really cute at this event she looks so beautiful it’s just an hour of brook just hyping her up i’m like no i told you i told her separately off camera that she looked so beautiful she’s like i i was nice off camera i swear everyone’s like she’s just guys if i wanted a bunch of [ __ ] yes people around me i would have them it’s not what i want no but it was cute it was cute and i’m glad you got to see him you guys you never shut the [ __ ] up about just dude and i never get to see him i like every time i love an artist they always cancel you also like you you got his tickets right when they had one assistant last year who you had paid her like full two days salary just to sit up and refresh and refresh to get the tickets then you got the tickets and then the tour got cancelled and i was bawling i was so so so sad like seeing like holy and chill i’m like tearing up now i’m not even kidding it changed my life it was so funny because everyone else was just so normal like i feel like like i just remember at one point i was like absolutely just like like turn around and charlie and chase are just like standing there all normal and they just look at me and they’re like are you [ __ ] good i’m always like that about an artist though i’m either like completely indifferent like that’s kind of i love justin bieber but i like really i wouldn’t care but like if i love an artist like i’m absolutely obsessed to the point where it’s like actually dangerous like billy eilish i would oh great yeah there’s no one i love like justin i can’t even explain i had so much on a tailor holder to being so godlike everyone was making fun of me so much because taylor and i were just up in the front literally like praying so hard a whole sermon yeah like an hour i mean i’m [ __ ] like believe it or not i’m like pretty religious so i i was really enjoying the whole like justin god moment i’m like god might claim taylor i don’t know if you can just like strikes her down with lightning right now there was a point in time where i would church home here in l.a jake and i would go every week just to try to hang out with justin because he was like going no they were like literally everywhere he’s literally right here in the middle of la anyone can go he like shows up to all the events he’s like really no i but i was really trying to just believe ex god i think i’m going to start going back it was so [ __ ] shallow [Laughter] with god if anyone could collab with god it is [ __ ] justin i can’t even deal what happened at home hunter brought my ex-boyfriend’s dog over last week to to dog sit and it was dog sitting who it happened but you live with me yes yeah yes correct yes fully brought my ex-boyfriend’s dog over and we were dog sitting all week it made me realize that we do not have the capability as a friend group to ever have a dog because we really wanted to get one like i’ve wanted a dog for so long but like it was the hardest thing ever i remember one morning i didn’t even dog said i was talking the dog’s [ __ ] up at one point the dog was pooping and had some extra it had [ __ ] on his eyes she had dingleberry and she was screaming just being like get the [ __ ] off monster i was sad it was like the cutest dog all of us were obsessed with this dog he was so sweet like so loving whatever but then all of a sudden there were dingleberries on this dog’s ass and no one would even go near it i was trying i for sure was trying you were doing not trying hard enough no i i mean i had to get in at least one post a day so my ex could see it so i could be like look at me thriving let him know you know what’s actually crazy speaking of this ex i’ve never actually like publicized that relationship at all yeah which i think okay if you don’t that’s so true he’s like god please don’t it’s one of the only relationships i’ve never ever publicized but i had a full relationship in like what like 2019 actually with this photographer great guy um we’ve had our ups and our downs i don’t even know you know it was it was turbulent i i don’t know if i was the best um you were not fair i don’t know if he was the best either but now now we’re on she’s probably fine um but actually to add on top of my my newfound relationship with my ex hunter is about to go on tour with uh jayden and machine gun kelly um we’re super excited for that he’s getting paid so no one’s excited for that except for hunter yeah i know i wish you the best out on tour so i’m like i’m gone for a bit i’m very scared for you guys dude i i was just gonna say the way my hollywood fixes are gonna be like blackout drunk like i’m gonna have no remorse like you’re you’re the only thing that keeps me going keeper he is the mediator bad things are definitely gonna happen while he’s gone and it’s funny too because i’m touring at the same time um and hunter said [ __ ] tana uh jayden’s paying me more just seems like a more fun tour that is so mean are you [ __ ] kidding me it’s it’s a it’s a really awesome experience no you’ve toured with me i’ve toured with you before it’s an amazing time as well but i think it’s time for you to you know do your thing but you want to tell them who you hired to replace your job your ex as well to replace my job who is it a fantastic photographer he could probably do video as well and i think it’d be a great idea isn’t it going to be so fun to be on tour just imagine me on one little bus with my boyfriend and my ex-boyfriend wait they’re friends who they’re not really friends they’d be sub tweeting the [ __ ] out of each other good friends they were good friends but then this [ __ ] had to [ __ ] no that’s crazy they were they were friends and you dated them both oh and the way i was like yeah and at that i mean and we all dated the same girl l.a is [ __ ] disgusting he dated her he dated her i dated her remember that when we get back to the mindy situation yeah right yeah fair enough honestly fair the last such a cesspool it’s kind of great i didn’t understand that he’s the one who’s invited so he’s going on tour with you yes what potentially she asked him today after i mean it would be funny he literally would be fun he fits in well with your boyfriend obviously because they were already friends i mean their friendship they’re they’re on the rekindle mark i mean i called him today and he said yeah we’re gonna take great photos we’ll probably just fight a lot he was like oh [ __ ] i think not really i think because you’ll have someone else there with you like taking up all your time when you’re not doing the meet and greets and stuff it will be good i know you don’t have to deal with a random person on tour which is a whole other thing yeah that’s hard because sometimes when you bring in like a whole like different person it just messes up the dynamic of the friend group we already know that he fits in nicely like everyone loves him so true i know why does everyone have to love all my exes like god huge i mean you you’re pretty good at choosing them honestly but just not keeping them baby i mean that’s very true yes you’re honest i feel like you could probably keep a guy like really easily yeah if i just like wasn’t a dumb [ __ ] right yeah fair enough you said it not me you know hey hunter [ __ ] suck my dick and die what else happened what else happened let’s see people were really asking me on twitter to delve into all of my breakups that i haven’t publicized and speaking of extra i guess we could get into that i i wanted to do that for a while like talk about some of the breakups that i’ve never had some clarification on but i don’t know if i’m ready i don’t know now’s the time baby you have the floor you know the one that really does kill me i don’t even i’m scared because i have no idea what she’s gonna say honestly sincerely and like i know his image is a good guy and i’m not trying to take away from that but it’s mod son for sure like i everyone just condemns me for our breakup so hard because of his amazing record karma that he wrote about me great songs great phenomenal songs you know what’s really upsetting because i i loved mod always like he was one of my favorite people but there was one day where you guys were like about to break up when i was unaware of it and i went to his house and i was just talking and i was trying to give him advice about you actually and the next day you broke up with him and i was unaware you were going to do that so he thought that i whatever i said that you were like an honest was the reason and he also would always like so horrible like he didn’t allow me to hang out with you like you know what i mean like there was that whole aspect of it which i think is crazy because it’s just like i love security and i think that that [ __ ] is so strange but i mean everyone that wants to know about our breakup the the the literal actual actual reason we broke up we were doing perfectly fine as a couple literally perfectly fine and then i wanted to start an only fans and he wasn’t really he was not down he was not down for it that was the reason that was sincerely he was just so like i i’m not shaming him for this because i think obviously like let’s say i were to talk to him about it now or let’s say we’d stay together i think he would have seen what it is and what it’s become and become more accepting but he was very much kind of like you’re going to become a porn star and i was like you’ve dated literal porn stars and like also like i’m not why are you and like my thing always is just like if you date me because i’m wild and then you want to so then suppress me because i’m now yours and it’s like the things that made you like me in the first place all of a sudden are the things you don’t yeah and i like i’ve done that for people like changed my career but and tried to like change but i think the truest love is someone who can accept you and empower you for like who you are and it was kind of just like i’m gonna [ __ ] do this and i thought he would come around and then i was like i’m gonna do this and it was like i was launching on my birthday and it was like three days before my birthday we started ignoring each other so heavy and him and mgk were writing the script for the tickets to my downfall movie and he completely ignored me ghosted me did not speak to me for like four days across my birthday across the biggest launch of my career of my only fans to write this script with mgk and then we were just like let’s be done like some other things probably weren’t included in that and i swear i swear to god on my soul that is actually what happened and then we just did not talk like that that was the breakup and then like i’m not gonna lie like 48 hours after i knew we were broken up i had gotten a little uber black over to calabasas and i was i was uh i was a jake paul it’s the most cut and clear breakup i’ve ever witnessed and i think that that’s like kind of the reason why people are so like black and white about it is like me personally i loved mod when you guys were dating loved him and i still i to this day i’ve supported him and you’ve you’ve even been like okay so you commented on mod sons tick tock like what the [ __ ] but it’s because you were so private about it like you really never even to us i mean maybe i don’t know about you but for me you text me one day and you know me and mod just broke up and we never heard no and then i was on a plane to miami with jake like it really yeah but i did that was probably one of the most upsetting friendship endings i had with him because he really thought did something wrong too yeah and our entire relationship was just very like hunters that you know what i mean just it was interesting but i love hunter just coming in between relationships [ __ ] hate it because i’m really not and it feels it fuels the fire too to make people think there’s something there that isn’t because it’s like we are just friends but like some people literally can’t bother me handle that i don’t know i’m the exact opposite i will make anyone believe that hunter is anything but my friend i’ll be like god i just like i just love him brooke uses hunter kissed the brook before brooke uses and she will make every person stand up so she’ll be like a boomerang of them be like just me and hunter’s drinks i’ll like tag it we’re like she loves your tattooed arm too just getting the tattooed arm in the back of something like you’re like driving in her car too she’s like i put my hand like on her uh no he was going he was like you’re honestly good at it he like contributes to it too but it’s like like i’m always trying to make somebody mad so i’ll be like hunter hold on and he’ll be like we’ll be in the car and he’ll be like hand on my leg like go brooke’s fully brook has fully now developed though accidentally i think this [ __ ] is genius i just have to say it she will accidentally quote unquote accidentally be with another guy and be like oh my god hunter stop like accidentally call them hunters no i’m not kidding like some guys i’m like some guy some guy was tickling me the other day and like hunter just found out that i was this sounds like worse than it is it doesn’t it’s just bad it sounds worse than it is but like hunter just discovered that i was ticklish and was like tickling me the other day and i was like less than a week later i got like a guy who i’m actually like into was tickling me and i literally was like hunter stop are you [ __ ] i don’t even know about this until right now she did not that’s the time when i’m like screaming out hunter’s name it’s like stopped and i’m like oh my god no i’m sorry like hundreds but you love every second brooke let’s talk about this guy though that you’re trying to piss off i’m not trying to guys i like him a lot shut up and you know what’s so shitty okay so i use hunter as a ploy all the time because it’s like it’s this guy like i i joke about it it’s like i’m dating him he’s not dating me and that’s like really what it is i’m so obsessed with this guy and he like does not give a [ __ ] about me i can talk about him because he will not ever listen to this podcast but i told her he would not take an hour to listen to the podcast oh it’s okay like it’s fine you also did a tick tock where you called him musty no i call him dusty which is also in case anyone’s curious i think dusty calling someone that is a physical derogatory okay but i i have to rep brooke in the fact that like i mean i could say a lot of things hey if you’re watching this i like you as a friend it’s nothing to do with you i just think but just just in retrospect but the way that he can be such a player to brooke is dusty and i think she was kind of coming for his we finally clarified though for a long time it was very up in the air like how does he feel how does he not now i know exactly how he feels i wish i didn’t um but i know pretty much exactly but how does he feel like we are very much just friends but brooke will go to the ends of the earth for this man and it’s crazy too because when i tell you i mean you’ve heard about some of the people she’s [ __ ] on this podcast already and the guys that get at you and the guys that you currently get with are [ __ ] great great and the way she will go to the end uh she starts crying for this guy who literally like doesn’t care about me at all can we talk about the uber story please no i was getting wild this guy literally was in an uber with her and another girl i’m gonna get in so much trouble for this oh trouble though like blood trouble i don’t even see the guy it’s like oh he’ll stop talking to you like poor thing but like yes like i will literally cry anyways he was in this uber don’t remember and he was one once over correct were you in the back no no we were sitting i was sitting in the middle he was sitting next to me okay and we’re we had a great night she got confidence now now she’s telling the story i can talk your [ __ ] because it’s true i was at a party with this guy i had the best night with this guy but the whole time this this girl was like all over him you know like going up behind him like grabbing him by the hips and stuff and me and my roommate the whole time were like this girl like what does she know like like we’re like like little and like little does she know [Laughter] but uh later on in the night we’re all leaving and my roommate calls an uber for like all of us to go back to my house right and we all get in we’re like okay it’s just our best friend and at the very last minute he’s like oh oh come come with us and he invites this girl in our uber she sits right next to me on my friend’s lap and i remember this night as well this was like you were annoyed real time as well you know what i mean like yeah it’s not like this was just like yeah so i’m i’m sitting in the middle it’s my friend with this girl on his lap and then it’s this guy right next to me who i have been hooking up with talking to who i really like okay and we’re sitting and the guy who whose lap she’s sitting on is like oh i gotta get out i gotta pee we’re like stuck on the hill so like it’s gonna be a second we’re at a stop he can get out and pee he gets out to pee and she sits in his place and the guy who i’m talking to reaches across from me grabs her body and puts her on his lap and i’m like oh my god what the [ __ ] is this oh hell no and that’s where i’d be [ __ ] every single one of his friends and that was an empty seat next to me and i’m looking at it like what the [ __ ] was that and then literally for a 40 minute ride home there she’s on his lap their whole give me your hand they’re holding hands like this you know all of his friends kids are getting the cheeks and i’m sitting next to her like this and i’m thinking you’re gonna go home with him yeah audibly out loud i’m going what the [ __ ] is going on like this cannot be real this can’t be real and my roommate’s in the row across from us looking back like oh no she obviously knows and everyone in the car is like oh my god oh my god and i just had to sit there and bite the bullet the whole ride home i’m like i’m gonna probably i’m like trying not to cry i was like so sad about it and whatever but he doesn’t [ __ ] right he tells you he doesn’t [ __ ] her right yeah and then recently you had a conversation he was like i like i just obviously started a fight after that because i was like that was so out of pocket that like [ __ ] a musician or two he knew that was hurting me or whatever and i was like like that was so crazy it’s embarrassing like you’re in front in front of your friends in front of my friends like don’t do that because it’s like people know that i like you don’t embarrass me in front of these people and he’s that’s the worst he made me feel insane like you were so out of pocket she’s my friend like what the [ __ ] are you talking about like she’s literally my friend she was not his friend brooke just found out that him an uber girl decided to really do the [ __ ] dirty no but it wasn’t after it was before which makes it a million times worse because it’s like you made me feel crazy no knowing you hadn’t slept with her [ __ ] insane really insane i really want this week to be about vengeance for you i’m really i’m not gonna lie hunter’s like the moral friend that’s like just end it and i’m like [ __ ] all his friends now he’s my best friend i love him to the end of the earth like i really do no i whether you say it or not he really is my best friend so like i don’t want to just like completely eliminate him stop slanging your [ __ ] oh i am i promise mark my words this is on camera the way we’re going to play this for her we can just i know he’s going to be [ __ ] him next she doesn’t promise [ __ ] that happened to me once though i got in a sprinter with jake and this girl [ __ ] sat on top of him and i’ll never ever ever forget it because the sprinter door closed and this is right it’s like everything was public and obviously we were like super open but he was like so we’re only letting bad [ __ ] in this winner right and i was like oh like just [ __ ] oh like i couldn’t even imagine never had a situation like that where it was like so blatantly i was like you know like i mean he didn’t owe me [ __ ] though i’m not coming for him right you know yeah see what what are you trying to bat reel it back on jake and i can’t defend him like i really never got to know him at all that was the one exeter i think i got to know everyone does everyone think i [ __ ] you and [ __ ] hate myself do you know that i’ve never had a conversation with jake in my entire life my moral friends really avoided that i’m intimidated by him like heavy he would look me right in the face and say something and i’d be like he always really loved you i don’t know ari and amari literally absolutely never should have brought him and loving him so close with him friends with like john and abby after yeah but like not when you guys were together and you know so moving on yeah that’s the one thing everyone wants me to touch on and i just like refuse because i’ll just like have a breakdown maybe one day i’ll have a lobby i mean but i’ve just done enough people get it i think you can you can assess the situation for what it [ __ ] is having trisha on the podcast she is so amazing that’s my first time ever meeting she is so amazing i wasn’t there i’m sure you all noticed i booted brooke and she has not like literally knowledge i never forget it because i’m church’s biggest fan i would have been so honestly actually well it would have been a big huge mess if i had been there because i’m such a trisha fan that it would have been like out of pop i would have i was just scared of like too much going on like yeah she’s like two times speed and like wild so i was just scared of like too much going on like it would have been very overwhelming for me and it would have been a sensory overload because i’m obsessed you and i are very much the same in hunter i wanted him to like balance it out i’m not even kidding i was i’m never afraid of people like ever like i like you know what i mean but i was so cause trish and i aren’t like like friends you know what i mean like yes like we became like friends during that and like you didn’t have a lot of contact outside and i was so scared she was gonna sit down and just grill me on everything i’ve ever done wrong and to be honest trisha is so up like you know like she might be canceled but when she’s canceling you like she usually has a point i was so scared she was gonna be like why are you like this this and this is the way there she was like you cannot say don’t say this word don’t say this you have to act like this and i was just like i’m just going to be me because i’m not really freaking out she was very nervous and then she got here and trisha was just like the most laid back she is an awesome human i was just moving fully debating no you’re fine i would have been like afraid to just because like you could have like a perfectly like amazing like normal conversation with trisha and all of a sudden you say one thing and she could be like wait you’re wrong like that can’t be right and then you’re just [ __ ] wrong i was sitting in the makeup chair truly being like do i just tell her i’m sick everyone’s like you’re gonna fake covid to get out of this like go to the podcast what the [ __ ] is wrong with you icon she’s a legend she’s perfect i love you i’m actually so happy we did it and like i’m glad that i just like bit the bullet and like did something i was afraid of and started with it’s so great dude we took our tits out after and like took only fans picks and it like my entire life was made like i can’t even i’ve always wanted to see her tits in person and i was just so so so so so so excited it was absolutely ridiculous what else should we talk about so bad so do i okay so i’m sorry it’s okay when me and my sisters were younger we used to sit on the toilet together and pee at the same time how is that even possible what oh is that real i don’t know i mean it was it was real oh my god i don’t think we can talk i know exactly what you’re going to say before you say one of my friends just caught her boyfriend jacking off backwards on the toilet and i don’t understand [Music] like she walked into him on the toilet backwards about to jack off yeah i just want another mentality behind that what’s that i’m curious on the mentality too like go in the shower so your [ __ ] like goes into the toilet like like all right backwards oh why couldn’t you just weird like you could be standing like so it’s going to go up it was just it didn’t make any sense like logically for me i just don’t like the image i don’t like where you have to be pointing it down yeah guys we don’t have to talk about this yeah we can talk about how famous your best friend tonight i’m so sorry this podcast is making me look literally horrible i don’t need an hour to just talk last night i opened twitter to find out that they mentioned me in the latest episode of american horror that is actually i won’t take that away from you that’s [ __ ] huge and honestly i was even feeling i was like on top of the world because i know all my boyfriends like as harry says the trickle down clout i’m not even kidding because all the people who like i swear my little boyfriends are watching american horror story it’s their favorite little show and they’re watching it and they’re seeing tan emoji and you know what they’re thinking of not thinking of tana they’re thinking of brook schofield and that’s good for you yeah i i kind of agree i was just gonna say something nice but you said that [ __ ] no like honestly that’s cool of like congratulations on that i just said it so that i can help them be yes my dad’s going to have a stroke he loves american horses so much when traditional media takes the time to like make a wish me and mention me it’s very cool because i just feel like literally i’m so cancelled no because that is for sure people who like need the wish let us know in the comments if you think that that is offensive i’m sorry to all the wishers can we i actually haven’t seen it and i want to react to it though so could we could we roll that clip because i don’t know what they said oh my gosh i can’t even okay when we first started doing this we were having a good time taking things over crashing that deputy top ball or paying attention emojis have pink oh no no way that’s literally insane i don’t know the context i haven’t seen in the episode but i just think that’s so cool writer had to write that down it had to be approved it went in i don’t know there’s probably 20 writers in the room for a show like american horror story there’s probably 20 writers in the room relevant enough congratulations that’s crazy yo thank you so much american horror story for keeping me alive for another week i don’t have i don’t have to bring up the brooms again this week to stay relevant dude the way the internet is like if you talk about them one more time i’m sorry i need to stop it’s just so easy it’s the quickest million views on tick tock i can’t even [ __ ] deal can you yeah of course i’m gonna take a shot should we take a shot yeah should we take a shot i’m scared i’m just getting nervous okay it’s a more girl disgusting you sound like a girlfriend who i don’t have a girlfriend hunter has 20 girlfriends and we just have a million different names let’s be very clear i don’t have any girlfriends at all this one in particular is asmr i used to we referenced her on the first podcast um asmr girl but hundred you found two new girlfriends this week right you fell in love on your shoot i fell in love with my shoe it’s never happened before i’m very clear i’m very professional i never ever ever ever talk to somebody um who’s i’m shooting or even after i’m shooting at least wait at least six months to even like think about talking to them okay keeping the photographer repertoire up no but hunter texts me right away he goes this has never happened to me where i meet someone and on the spot i’m like oh my god i will drop every other girl for this girl and that’s what he said he goes i would two more yeah he came home every single girl for this girl and he showed me who she was and i was like i would drop everything for this yeah she’s very beautiful she’s honestly stopping i already follow her on tick tock oh wow i’ve followed her before i sent her a dm after reshot just pretty much saying like i enjoyed shooting with you that you killed it very very professional very hoping though that she was like here’s my [ __ ] okay i don’t think she’s that type of i’m sorry i’m sorry for the all the [ __ ] remarks i don’t know what’s wrong she responded and said love shooting with you smiley face heart and then send another all no she clearly wanted to keep the conversation going so i responded and i said um oh like leaving so soon like i would love to like have i thought we were gonna have dinner tonight and she was like how about sunday and i was like out of town how about tuesday not just so meanwhile though meanwhile all of this is happening i spent the entire weekend absolutely hunter i’m going out you right now she’s so in love with madly in love with taylor david dover existed really really [ __ ] pretty like and we see taylor a lot obviously because she is the one who is actually helpful when things are going wrong with our house i’ve seen her twice in my entire life really very clear do you think that when david chose his assistants he was like you know what these ones are like because both of his assistants are like [ __ ] beauty and ella all three they’re all so funny that’s what i was thinking of oh natalie oh natalie yeah okay well i was known because natalie i don’t think it is his assistant anymore no she’s so it’s just like super executive i think she’s very she’s more like on the higher end of things yeah i’m thinking ella and taylor yeah like they’re both of them so beautiful and i’m obsessed with both of them ella is just like i requested instagram maybe like you’re gonna tell me i requested taylor because she’s on private she did not accept me for i don’t know did she finally accept you though yesterday so here’s the thing though i want to take full credit for that it was david’s birthday so we were like at his house all weekend and there was a point where i was up in his bed with david sitting with taylor just utterly campaigning i was feeding david lyons like hunters i’m just a great guy tell taylor and he’d be like so hunter’s a great guy like fully like script writing for david and we we pitch and we pitch and we pitch and taylor finally accepted your follow request and i oh my god i would do anything for you guys to be together like she she’s so cute for david’s birthday too like everyone was going crazy even the other assistants i was definitely like feeding shots or whatever taylor’s like in the club with like a macbook like working like at the party no makeup like you know i’m just like i just think about how hard tana’s assistants work and like just imagine that but like except david and like brand friends no it was insane but i felt like cupid i felt like i actually like got in there and i just i would do anything it would be the cutest [ __ ] relationship i can’t even deal so you’re super welcome for that that taylor follow i can’t even you know you know what i mean truly truly honored yeah i would just do anything for you hunter i would do the same what are you going to say who could you set me up i’m literally taking it no i’m next i’m the one who’s freshly on the market right brook actually i texted hunter the other day and i said listen i’m ready to be less toxic please find me another boyfriend and hunter will set me up like here and there but he sets me up with like i love being taken i just missed the floor it’s the job with what what happened go ahead the last person set you up with the last person that’s who i would literally drop everything in the entire world for that man but i can’t even we can’t even talk about it because it broke my heart why not can we talk about it briefly briefly we can briefly talk about it hunter set me up with pretty much the most eligible bachelor in the entire world great guy flawless amazing i love him recommend in another life i would kill to be in her shoes right i would die for this man and he knows still to this day but i just what did you do no i’m not gonna die brook had another little fun time in the movie theater brook did have a fun time in the movie theater and uh something might have happened where i had an embarrassing moment with this guy i think that i i honestly is this outing if i like say what happened how do you watch it i just say it like i don’t want him to be like because it’s just but i don’t want him to be like why would you talk she bled all over his [ __ ] y’all i’ll do it she bled everywhere [Laughter] he was so fine with it he was literally like so funny about like he was completely to be real the only reason i would literally absolutely ever bring it up but don’t get me wrong obviously if it’s like your trauma i’m not the one i’ll literally cut it out don’t come don’t call me out don’t call me oh i will cut it out but what i like about him is i think that if you bleed on a guy and he reacts like a little [ __ ] baby back [ __ ] it’s an automatic sign that he’s just not the [ __ ] one like you’re not a man you can’t handle it if you can’t handle the blood of like no this man was this you weren’t supposed to change the entire world he was like so he was just like such an angel by the way that’s how you know the guy’s like actually with it because he’s like something we’re getting really personal here on the cancelled podcast yeah i’m like to be clear my i i get my period the same day every month and it is on the 17th this happened on the fourth of the month okay fourth of july she’s wearing all white well you don’t have to say the fourth of july oh my god i get a little detail detailed i don’t wanna i don’t wanna piss off her boyfriend that she still cares about even though he [ __ ] ripped him and knew him he stopped listening by now he was completely cool about it so that’s why i think it’s fine i’m talking about because he like never he never like was like he did not care at all he was like a sweetheart about it but it mortified me because if it were like someone i didn’t care about if it were anyone if it were hairy i would have been like whatever but it was like somebody who actually like i actually cared what he thought about me so i was like this is the worst thing that’s ever happened to me i will never recover but it’s so hot that he literally used to go to the shower and getting a bucket so again like that’s that’s everything and more like and if anything i think like maybe i’m wrong but it kind of gives the story some character which i think i’d rather remember i was like oh i threw up on you the first time we met and then we got married stories i hope it’s that so if you’re listening there you go now you know i’m not gonna lie i think it gives you like it gives you a lot of character and it makes you just more memorable in his eyes and i wouldn’t yeah i don’t know all it does is just give you like extra like memorabilia tricks we’ve all bled we’ve all been bled on i want to be remembered that way i don’t know how about you guys yeah i know it happened to me [Music] everyone assured me like that’s so normal it happens all the time for me i was so mortified because nothing similar to that has ever had i would never put myself in that situation where i like how did you react were you chill or were you just like oh the guys i was not chill oh but he see that’s why i was like because he was like because i was not i was literally so i told him i was like if anyone were to ask me my most embarrassing moment i would say this was that on our leather couch or a white leather coat i want you to stop dude in high school this just reminded me of this in high school i was like i have this boyfriend and i was cheating on him sorry um and it was with one of his friends and it was it was one of the like popular guys and i was so excited to like hook up with him and like whatever and i went to his house and he was eating me out and i bled i’m not getting like blood clots on this guy and i knew i was on my period i just thought it was over i just really wanted to share she knew risked it for the biscuit and i’m talking blood clots from like his scalp to like his chest and this man was like oh like scarred like he was not chilled about it at all he was getting scarred for life and i’ll never ever ever ever ever forget it when i was in college there was this one girl i was in my dorm room freshman year halloween night hook up with this girl she’s wearing a cowboys cheerleader outfit that’s where i remember and we’re hooking up i was like doing my thing whatever and i’m like dude oh my god she’s like super like super wet she’s so wet for me i love making him that she knew everything and i was like oh my god this is [ __ ] like yeah great she go we go to bed next morning wake up she leaves in the morning before i wake up i’m like great i look in them i look around and it looks like a csi dexter set like why would you not tell me this when i needed it all across my bed on my dresser on my walls everything and i had no idea that i think it was like halloween blood or did you just know oh no i knew immediately i was like you were like oh wow i remember one time hunter when i was like when i was like into you a little sorry but i mean whatever i was sleeping in your bed who cares and i [ __ ] woke up to blood in your bed like all over your bed and i remember you were trying to tell me it was my blood and it wasn’t my blood and i’ll never forget it 100 was your blood it wasn’t like i’m bleeding no i i just think it’s some other [ __ ] blood in your bed and you didn’t want it i want to say right now is that if you had blood stories hunter’s a fake friend i take back i forgot about it i take back everything that nice that i ever said about hunter this entire podcast because when uh hunter was the first person i called this incident that’s what he does hunter was the first person i called when this incident happened i facetimed him and i go literally 9-1-1 emergency i need to talk to you right now and i immediately calmed you down and said it’s okay i told him exactly what happened and i was like listen i have no idea this is like the most awful thing that’s ever happened to me and no after a second he said some nice things but immediately he goes wait what [Laughter] you lead on him he goes oh no no no no he goes oh no and i literally felt sick to my stomach i was like they’re but i haven’t but by the end of the conversation i’ll let you know like he was like yeah but at no point during that conversation did hunter ever say it’s happened to me it’s totally normal no the whole time he was like oh yeah that’s pretty bad but i’m sure he doesn’t care but like that’s really bad well now you know that bleeding is just it’s a part of me it’s fine it’s part of life my last two relationships okay we’re vampires completely like obsessed with drink my period blood it’s time so just to wrap the podcast here guys this is not another great episode of cancelled podcast and if you’re my dad i hope you stopped watching a long long time you’re my dad like where were you oh god now all right thanks for tuning in guys so i appreciate it should we end it here i was gonna end it with us actually discussing our friendship oh we should we probably should just wrap up the mini [ __ ] and then [ __ ] go and call it a day it confuses a lot of people a lot of people still watch our [ __ ] see our stories like you know see us posting each other and they’re like what the [ __ ] like isn’t that mindy whatever i mean even our even our he when we got here he’s like who’s mindy like we’re reading our podcast yeah i mean i’m not gonna let i put out that like heater video and it’s not like we ever came back with like i wanted to do a sit down like something yeah if on youtube that’s still her like front page it also was your pinned video on your response was your pin video on your instagram for a while too why did you chill in my bio she had to make some adsense to make up for me being just like rapidly occurring i made rent for several months off this list this is what i’ll say about i don’t know what i’ll say about it you were in the wrong you were in the wrong you both should not have acted the way you did i think you it was she has no space to talk about that she had 46 boyfriends at the point at that time was it was happening you should have done that in the movie theater but regardless like you were like it wasn’t that big of a deal and she made it way bigger because she wanted to make i know i was just it was a great story stupid i admire you for making a story out of it because honestly i i get all of you fans are really like she’s really dry on youtube right now anything that she can make a story out of i want her to do it because because honestly like it was a great it weren’t about me i would have been like oh my god that was the [ __ ] however it was about me i obviously got the wrath of it all i was in the wrong 100 like you said i was fully but i knew i was in the wrong we could have entirely handled that privately i think that i was just fully sent over that chad monsta not made karma and that not been the worst week of my life i don’t even know if i ever would have talked about it was more just like these bad things happen so i’m going to talk about them all it was like it was just yeah like you said it’s like the worst week in my life or whatever yeah you’re like but it was i was never to be clear i was never upset that she made the video about me like i mean of course i was because i got a lot of like backlash from it yeah but i was more i was i was upset over the situation because i felt bad that i had like done something bad to tana and i said in my video whatever i don’t watch it honestly but i don’t think maybe you should like because i still get it but i felt i felt bad that like a person who had been a good friend to me i like did a really awful thing to you i really i mean i don’t when i even look back now though i don’t even think like oh it was really awful i think it was literally just dumb [ __ ] and we were like drunk and like who who really cares i think that a people don’t realize that like things can happen off camera but also like what i say about it is i’ve never had a friend where like we weren’t friends and their presence was so avidly missing in my life like i was just like i missed you every single day like i missed you every single day and then i was just like why like and keep in mind too this boy like he’s such a [ __ ] boy in l.a it’s not like it was anyone that i loved everyone there’s not a person we know who hasn’t hooked up with no sincerely like everyone’s he’s a talker he’s a sweet talker he coerced everybody 100 and i think to let someone like that ruin something that’s clearly like so good and like both of us are just like [ __ ] like little narcissistic like you know like we both our egos were pissed and we got pissed and we like we took it to the internet but like people make up and like people don’t realize that and it’s also like clearly after all that if we didn’t love each other and think that the other like likewise that are good people like we wouldn’t still be here and it’s right like to us i guess it’s very obvious but to a lot of people it’s just like well that’s what people forget there’s a lot of things that you don’t see there’s a lot of like behind like percent of our relationship and our friendship is like when we’re not posting stories we’re just like [ __ ] sitting on the couch like people don’t unders don’t know what they don’t know and like it’s frustrating for me to see people like even commenting on this podcast that are like they’re frenemies they secretly hate each other it’s like okay we had one big fight we publicized the [ __ ] out of it and we made our bag and like we’re
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THE EX EPISODE... CANCELLED EP 3

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