The Intellectuals | Episode 38 | Cool Things The Nazis Did

The Intellectuals | Episode 38 | Cool Things The Nazis Did

[Music] yeah but don’t be upset about that that’s kind of funny welcome [ __ ] to another episode of the intellectuals i’m posadan and i’m joined here by the lovely lovely lovely guido which by the way bro you’re back with um you’re back with a badass scar bro you do have a scar on your face hi guys hello we explained it on two drink minimum but in case yeah but in case oh actually you know who told me that today i want to give a shout out to norm hey norm thanks for passing by the restaurant he’s a listener uh and he told me that he heard it and he’s because he he walked by and he looked in every guy always walks by and looks in the rest so who’s looking in the restaurant and i said oh that’s that’s the guy that listens and uh he’s like i heard [Laughter] i’m like where did you hear this from i heard it through the grapevine i’m going to give a throwback reference right now yeah do you know who to max and zaymoth are no they are two gi joe cartoon toys that are twins leaders of the crimson guard and you can only tell them apart because one has a scar so now suddenly i have this scar it’s good because i was beginning to have trouble telling you guys apart yeah me and me honestly guido’s here but you don’t realize but before the scar i had a hard time telling us apart and not me uh was that funny in your head i think it was clever it was clever so um uh what can i say [Music] like people know everyone’s on edge um very hard to find uh staff the [ __ ] is that supposed to mean ask anybody in the restaurant business it’s hard to find stuff but it’s not like it was a new waiter this guy’s been there for five years yeah now granted i was living in new york for a long time i didn’t work with this guy a lot he had a couple of drinks in him it was the end of the night you know when you’re when you’re about to lock up here have a beer you know i have a beer just chill for a second i like to chill and watch the intellectuals oh you know i do that and um all of a sudden he starts just flipping out and he gave me the type of andre the giant headbutt hold on hold my head open and bl you saw the pig blood was dripping down my face like a fountain yeah we’re going to get to that in a second but hold on i look like a [ __ ] um our bud dwyer hold on rewind rewind we want what do you mean he just started flipping out out of the blue like that he was talking some weird stuff he was already he this guy in the back of the restaurant outside in a plastic bag has his beer so by 10 11 at night he was already what’s that two sheets for to the window what the hell it was already woozy yeah and and he gets there’s some people that when they drink they get aggressive yeah so he just literally flipped out and did that now i’m getting texts from him saying he’s sorry and stuff but you know what are you gonna do oh [ __ ] him just have have fun yeah later i don’t want to know anything else but now at least you have a badass scar is it a badass scar of course any scar i think is bad i’m still swollen here too you are yeah my face looks different did it hurt when you fell from heaven it hurt emotionally really i wasn’t i was in shock that’s a shocking thing to happen besides yeah it is a shocking thing you know what i’m not really a fighter and this is a person that never would have done that before ever just all of a sudden just snapped so yeah it was pretty [ __ ] up yeah you know i was mopping my own blood off the floor like what the hell is that whoa whoa he made you bleed your own blood yeah like what the hell is that i was literally like what the hell is happening in my life i’m making really bad decisions here that’s mopping up my own but anyway well as long as you feel better now of course i do and um what was he going to say and also uh something you asked me to bring something up all right yeah your 18 year old niece what happened with her what did she do so so i found out she was 18 i don’t know what the rules are like this depends on the state so my niece rafaela raphael is uh oh i see where you went with that [ __ ] you it’s my niece so i don’t know why i caught that one so fast because you’re almost the same age so my 18 year old niece is in italy as we speak uh she went there with her friends and her friends parents to uh visit my family and to go to a wedding her friend’s parents went to visit your family no she was gonna go to my cousins and then go with the friends uh her best friend and her parents to a hotel she’s like a whole thing and go to a wedding anyway whatever they are the 18 year olds they organize all this [ __ ] so now she gets winned from uh the mother of her friend i once got done who she’s staying with that the bride complained that she didn’t want her to wear this dress wait wait wait wait wait hold on hold on your niece if we’re recapping is in a foreign land uh italian i believe you called it they’re from here everybody even the bride even the bride is from here so they went uh they went to italy to have the one right yeah yeah okay so they went to italy because these are the times when it’s it’s very comfortable to travel uh well this this girl’s engagement party uh during the lockdown had 200 people okay okay these are the 10 people we’re dealing with i like it um and she caught wind of the dress that your niece was gonna wear to the wedding right because uh they needed approval she needed approval nobody can upstage the bride now is she saying you can’t wear that dress because it’s upstaged or because there’s a lot of logos and [ __ ] symbols upstage wow so how hot is your knees that’s so now so now you’re for real the parent the the parents taking care of my niece with her friend runs to zara buys a dress for my niece to wear at this wedding that’s crazy my niece is like no no [ __ ] way i’m wearing my dress and my my sister is triple offended because this parent worried more about the bride than her daughter uh yes i agree you you’re there you your responsibility is your kid and this kid instead she ran to get a dress because her cousin was gonna [ __ ] at her stupid bridezilla wedding oh what a [ __ ] so now my niece crying is on a train first class because she has to she’s alone going to my cousin’s house at my wedding nobody even liked my dress everyone was offended i like i mean your balls were hanging below yeah i was offensive it was a nice dress or was it a cloak no no uh so that’s it so my niece as we speak is on a train from like millennials so she’s not going to the wedding she’s like [ __ ] like that no i wouldn’t even let her go can i say something guys i think your niece she lost points in the beginning because uh she went to a foreign wedding and uh she’s 18 so i hate them already uh but now she’s one point she’s in the cool club i like that she stood up for herself you remember you were at the restaurant and she was sending me menus from italy i said look she takes pictures of all food when she’s in yeah yeah you could say that but i thought that’s just because she might be a foodie uh addict no she was i told her to do it and she did it um you know what i like her style was it the menus were the prices both i wanna you know get get inspired a lot of people don’t have balls i had to stand up for themselves i’m proud of her like poseidon recently today he did something too he was uh yes he stood up for himself and you know what i’m proud of him too oh thank you you stood up to me no no no no no no he had uh he had an altercation with a fellow that tried to ruin his life and he stood up for himself this is what you were on the phone with i mean you got to the restaurant so he uh handled business yeah i heard i actually heard him talking yeah he was uh astute and stupid or stern stern is the word right howard now i don’t know robin i used to do a good howard baba bowie i can’t my voice is [ __ ] because i didn’t did a good howard do you did him yeah yeah how’s this that stuttering john what the [ __ ] are you asking me i don’t know who’s stuttering john he has a terrific podcast was that sarcastic yeah he misused the word terrific oh [ __ ] i wonder how a podcast like that would be just you’re always stuttering okay quickly yeah uh he wasn’t even the third mike he was like the sixth mic on on howard stern he was sucking some dude named mike he he was on howard stern and he was a man on the street going up to people with a mic saying stupid [ __ ] to them and really pissed them off i can’t even give an example it’s stupid what do you think about it he would be on the on the red carpet of the oscars and people would literally give him a punch in the face to get a laugh um oh [ __ ] he got into a fight with already he got into a fight anyway but then he got a gig but it wasn’t even a real gig but he he ended up getting the role of the announcer on the tonight show with jay leno but that was actually kind of like a smack in the face to the producers from one producer to another say [ __ ] you take this guy but this guy got that job thinking he was really special ah uh he was it’s the tonight show with jay leno that’s all he did and uh did he stutter while he said that a little bit not really and now uh he has a podcast and he’s like really fell down the totem pole there okay and um it’s um he he he has there’s duct tape on his mic oh [ __ ] he’ll be talking and the back will fall he’s back oh [ __ ] yeah he’s a he’s a mess he’s a mess he’s out of that i kind of feel bad for him and the fact that he’s a mess and doesn’t realize he’s a mess no uh it’s better to be a mess and realize it such as me it’s better to not be a mess just not be a mess or at least realize it and then try to fix the mess at least acknowledge it so he he’s the type of guy when he gets criticism he shits on everybody rather than listen um yeah we don’t do we know any people like that i mean i might be like that no i try to take constructive criticism no but your co-host no no i try to i try to take it but i don’t [ __ ] on people i make excuses i don’t [ __ ] on people but i try to take it and i try to listen and i try to the next time adjust i try to get taller every day yeah i’ll go [ __ ] yourself i just every day i try to get taller every day every day every single day god damn no but you don’t think i can’t take uh construction uh yeah he can’t take construction constructive criticism were you there when this happened uh yeah yeah you were serving uh a table i opened up i’m the only guy in the world that gets a a a bottle opener uh for a beer i had a beer in my hand i went like this i take off half the top of the beer i cut myself your luck has been crazy like the cap has it didn’t come off the cap stayed on and the glass took off you’re a walking calamity yeah no we gotta get this guy like we gotta exercise we gotta get you to see a shaman or something at this point how about how about you get one of your wizards on unite him yeah i’m going to call one of my wizards i’m waiting for my aunt to get back from greece because that’s the one that i trust she’s there she’s building a power she’s in greece oh yeah she has no phone number in greece she doesn’t have a phone she’s very old-school all she has is a house phone yeah but a sim card is like no but she doesn’t know how any of that [ __ ] works wait hold on does she have she said she has a house phone yeah [ __ ] that’s too bad in montreal though be dead no you know what i i don’t don’t say that but i love when nobody can get a hold of me that’s great no just enjoy their sheep yeah every time somebody gets a hold of you they try to headbutt you yeah seriously oh thanks all right all right [ __ ] so um poland not a real place is building a wall are they building a wall in south carolina no they’re building a wall to keep possible the influx of refugees they want zero refugees they’re having none of it good so is there a guy in poland talking like this but in polish no no but here’s the thing i don’t think they should uh have to jump and take in every refugee it’s not another business they weren’t part of that war uh people don’t like them so they don’t like other people where are the refugees coming from like afghanistan pakistan yeah syria syria well you know what happens um algeria algeria morocco so in sicily that happens a lot where people try to come up from africa from uh by both yeah what is sicilian zoo for sure the sicilians shoot them they let them in they get paid cash always the with a business sicilian 100 million people in italy [ __ ] 80 million are documented [ __ ] that’s a lot yeah that’s a lot of [ __ ] walking around without papers 20 million goddamn uh it happens everywhere man yeah yeah hold on italy has a population of a hundred million i don’t know maybe 60 million but when you’re in the millions who cares but it’s not like canada there’s a shitload of people in that boot i mean god damn yes there’s a google i’m the token italian uh let me see how many just uh just uh type in population of italy that’s a great idea what do you think hey how do you spell captain in captain crunch c-a-p-t-a-60 60 million that’s still a lot bro yeah 60 million for a small country that’s a lot of people you could you could fit three italy’s in quebec alone quebec is huge though quebec is huge is as big as texas canada is huge but quebec is like texas if you look at the sizes really yeah it just seems bigger on the maps because it’s warped you know you know the [ __ ] um flat earth he just he didn’t say it seems big he said it legitimately is big yeah i don’t know it is big but like yeah like his dick no hey how do you know bro um so you know um you you know the old the maps when they flattened them out they made the north look bigger green land looks a lot bigger than it really is of the globe because of the way they flattened it out it was the best way to get the key word flat earth they flattened it how do you know the earth is round bro honestly i i don’t but i know i know how none of this round how i don’t see downtown from here yeah but there’s there could be hills and [ __ ] no it’s because the earth is round also because it’s very far you [ __ ] embassy okay there’s an old joke in saskatchewan where the prairies are where it’s the flatlands where you could see your dog running away from home for days because it’s just so flat yeah texas is like that too you just want i’ve never been texas again no but i’ve heard that’s that’s how texas is you know what they have you know what they have in texas what texans norway you know what else they have oh what oh oil oil i just did a mr furley joke from three companies what the what the [ __ ] is oil oil okay oil god damn this is very awkward that’s what the show dallas was about have you guys ever um uh podcasted before i’m just curious yes we have what is this i know it doesn’t show right now what is this podcast what is [Laughter] so poland poland why do you keep [ __ ] saying they decided to build a wall okay to not let the refugees in now speaking of poland oh my god you’re speaking of poland spring water i miss you in new york the uh eska is called poland spring no so that’s it but uh another another crazy story two crazy stories i found that was a crazy story say poland again but that was the crazy story you didn’t say anything we thought you were setting up for the story that was the setup oh no that was it they’re just pulling this billy of water poland who gives a [ __ ] it’s pronounced poland not poland you know who’s from a d not a t poland uh no there’s no t poland it’s i’m saying it with oh he’s saying poland yeah no poland yeah poland you put a t at the end of it like linda ronstadt so how do you say poland no there’s no t it’s poland not poland poland that’s why i’m saying poland no but you put a t you’re saying p i’m not putting a [ __ ] t it’s poland you know i know what you’re pronouncing p-o-l-a-n-t is what you’re pronouncing that’s poland that’s what you’re saying no i’m saying poland you [ __ ] head i’m not [ __ ] the head bro i heard your tongue go yeah no i’m going poland no you’re not not pulling that’s what you’re doing no poland poland poland poland i’m not saying poland yes you are no i’m not i’m saying poland oh you tried on that you tried on that with the tango poland that was a waste of time yeah no no because i just find it interesting that walls work uh but they can’t work in the united states of america i’m just saying why can’t they work and they they do have walls in the united states in america no no because there was that whole debate when trump wanted to build that was a long time you had rehashing stuff that you don’t even know how they ended poland is going to build a 20-foot wall napolitan italian guys are going to build 21-foot ladders but uh i like that actually i wanted your opinion on this because uh you uh like rock bands right it’s a very rare trait nirvana is being sued oh god by the baby from never mind album cover you know the baby that’s swimming a little kid yeah with a little little penis yeah yeah yeah never mind yeah yeah that kid is now 67 years old yeah he’s suing nirvana for child pornography that’s what do you think about this uh did his parents sign off on him of course yeah it’s over and also every year every uh sorry five years celebrating the album he would get dressed up in a speedo and reenact the photo bathtub and post it online so he clearly had no problem really did he really do that unlike you whose show this is i do my research it sounds like somebody has a drug problem did this guy i i i get the feeling this kid got paid once and doesn’t get any residuals but it’s one of the most famous album covers of all time and that’s why he’s angry but then why not bring it up in the uh before how do you think i feel about well while he’s an infant he’s going to bring it up oh by i mean like five years ago i get it not five years ago if he’s 67 now maybe when you were i don’t know 67 he’s probably 35 years old okay when you were 20 you couldn’t bring it up you can be like he’s probably broke now who’s my [ __ ] money bro he’s broke now the kids in uh the pink floyd um way down need no education that song the kids the choir they complained because they didn’t get paid well well they get paid well though well you should have better [ __ ] known better yeah get sag sometimes it’s just down to negotiating like uh what was that show that the apprentice no no no there was a show or i think it was movies gilligan’s island i think it was the marvel movies where i i think robert downey jr said that if um he’s not gonna do the movies if his school if his uh co-stars don’t get paid better or something like that was that or was it friends also i don’t remember which trophy friends did that friends because the avengers and friends are the same in your world well they’re all friends just all just the peril he’s drawing is making me so angry because so let’s picture now let’s picture thor hulk [ __ ] uh iron man sitting at central perk i’ll tell you why what he’s saying and gunther is making cappuccinos for them i’ll tell you why what you’re saying so stupid even if all those choir kids got up and said al ausa governor we’d like a better right you know what they tell them uh step aside we’re getting other kids uh if step aside what are you talking about that’s neither here nor there this is an open and shut case the lawyer is an opportunist he said we’re gonna say that we’re shooting for kiddy porn the state might get uh panicked and give us money and no one’s gonna do that because like no you there’s photos of you celebrating this album until now you clearly had no problem with whatever rate we gave your parents or whatever and now you think we’re all stupid because the work the world is so woke that you’re trying to cash in that’s all this is it really is that you know that reminds me of a story um the great late actor bill paxton i’ll tell you who he is bill cosby’s remember arnold schwarzenegger driving in the corvette in that movie yes yes funny salesman yes yes that guy he was directing a movie here i want to say it’s the legend of beggar vance golf movie but it might not be that but a similar movie that would make my brain think it’s that or it’s all baseball hot the point is the cast crew and extras were all outside in the scorching sun and the crew brought out popsicles for everybody for the crew and for whoever was union all the sag or actual people got popsicles that’s weird other extras that were just getting 100 bucks a day they were sitting there in the scorching sun bill paxton got angry and said stop stop production go get [ __ ] ice cream for these guys and i want you to get [ __ ] the popsicles go get magnums the chocolate ones pay three dollars oh [ __ ] and he bought ice cream for everyone good for him bill paxton i like little uh gestures like that that’s why i remembered it it wasn’t bagger vance whatever whatever movie like that was filmed here yeah the good ones always die bro yeah god always picks the prettiest flowers you’re going to be here for a while [Laughter] you are so cool because you were so quick bro that was fast bro [Laughter] denmark denmark no t in that one um poland say it one more time poland [ __ ] he’s still doing it he did it at the end there what poland you don’t realize you don’t realize you’re saying the way you’re pronouncing it is p-o-l-a-n-t but it’s a d it’s not a t so how do you say it poland poland poland but you it’s almost like you put an e at the end of it like demand yeah poland poland it’s almost like you’re saying that listen to me poland poland [Music] poland oh you’re getting better poland poland poland you’re having trouble but it sounds like you’re saying paul lint like apollo polland poland i heard a team poland poland paul paul poland poland it’s better if you say poland yeah poland okay how about this well how say netherlands okay what netherlands netherland netherlands what’s the biggest city in oregon netherlands no none what the [ __ ] you how do you have to i think you have a trouble saying nd and you keep well that’s it that’s why in oregon the state of oregon near seattle in washington the oregon what’s the p city that’s there portland what portland portland yeah here’s the t now he’s mispronouncing both tees yeah yeah port no not portland what portland port lind portland port portland portland port the the [ __ ] port where the land is bro wisconsin wisconsin uh do you remember when t-pain rhymed wisconsin with what was that your mother’s name is johnson i’m still trying to figure out why the avengers are hanging out with the cast of friends oh no i just i was looking for like guys world view is limited no no i was looking for like contract negotiations no no i was looking for like contract negotiation stories in my uh weird catalogue that i keep in here i have a contract negotiation story of when we negotiated your contract after you were fired how did that one go [Laughter] you know what the other day uh i i tried to show poseidon a clip from the old incredible hulk tv show how [ __ ] long did it take from him to get the [ __ ] [ __ ] in his head to becoming the hulk or was it not you i showed you nothing to me it was playing on the tv when i showed up yeah dude like this very wordy this is the pilot from banner going in there and doing the gamma ray [ __ ] okay from that to just to walk around the thing and sit down and strap himself in minutes are going by because back then they didn’t care footage footage footage yeah they’re just building up dude he didn’t turn into the hulk for another 15 minutes but it’s not like 15 minutes in the story it was him leaving the lab getting in the car driving car getting uh getting a flat tire him changing the tire then turning into the hulk that was like maybe the whole episode that’s called storytelling building tension no you could tell the difference from old we don’t have the patience for that today i have the attention span of a [ __ ] goldfish but m night shyamalan made a whole career out of extending and taking time but he did it properly because there’s stuff in in the middle this [ __ ] oh my god i was like get to the point i want to see you know i want to see him hulk it’s like it’s like dragon ball z episodes when i was a kid say that again dragon ball z okay the first time he said it weird poland he said dragon you said poland dragon colony [Laughter] dragon ball z dragon balls why don’t you be canadian for a second and call it dragon ball zed well so zed is a canadian thing and an australian just surreal speaking of australia they say zed and in canada we say zed in america they say z where the british say they say zed also i guess oh that’s a [ __ ] good question the british say t i don’t i’m never saying it again as far as i’m concerned zed’s dead baby that’s dead i never enjoyed saying that like in canada we say left tenant in the united states they say lieutenant i always said a lieutenant well because you watch tv like me i used to say lieutenant though remember well that’s that’s actually the right way to say it in canada lieutenant is what he says he said lieutenant yeah because of 99 in lufth balloons yeah he didn’t he he basically heard one word he mixed up with another word he heard he made up his own thing luft and lieutenant he made loof tenant and then now that got too complicated for him so he just says lieutenant but i prefer lieutenant then you went to the pharmacy and you bought a luffa [Music] luton airport is in uh is the other airport of london i don’t know that heathrow is it on the right or the left side well it depends who’s who’s asking is an american canadian wrong side you know i haven’t watched a good [ __ ] what’s his name my favorite [ __ ] british actor the only good looking bald guy in the world jason stapleton jason statham he’s a good [ __ ] actor there again he’s a he’s a good a good actor he does the the same role every movie though no but i like that himself his name in crank was chip chilios [Music] you know what they should do jason statham should play in a comedy and he should play young larry david oh my god that would be the funniest thing ever because larry would cast him yeah it’s so funny because he has such an inflated ego he would make him young him that’s the funniest thing write that down that’s the funniest thing i ever heard you’re welcome a curb your enthusiasm or jason statham would be the funniest [ __ ] thing i’ve ever seen uh larry are you sure that that’s the best person to cast as yourself what’s wrong what do you think we’re brothers because he’s brady look he’s an actor you can do the accent leon time to shut the [ __ ] up all right i don’t know about his letter i know about this letter he don’t look like you you’re real man you’re a [ __ ] larry yeah i decided to shave my head i don’t shave my face anymore um thank you uh you know who else is greek see because i don’t watch news or frank sinatra right sinatras oh he was greek yeah you didn’t do this no i don’t know literally we could write an encyclopedia with [ __ ] he doesn’t even know what an encyclopedia is of course i do okay so it’s that book there that you put all the information of the world in right called the internet so uh uh i i find out late when stuff happens so i just i look at youtube and then these little videos show up and i found out that animal from road warriors the wrestler he died because hawk uh legion of doom he died a couple of years ago uh but i find out this guy died and his last name leonides oh that’s cool yeah you know it better than me he was greek from chicago yeah but his name was animal and the [ __ ] road the best tag team in all of wrestling holy [ __ ] it was greek yeah [ __ ] we’re everywhere but we’re like very incognito greeks changed the names because like you said they fall off if there’s too many yeah yeah boy i mean imagine being introduced uh this is socrates schwarzenegger well depends who you’re being introduced to like what’s your example no but i mean like uh they they make them less complicated for like um acting i know but give me an example where it would be bad if you get introduced with your full legal greek name yeah no i can’t think of any [Music] okay another story this one’s i i don’t think you’re gonna give a [ __ ] about this one die hard starring bruce papadopoulos yeah yeah yeah yeah uh furious three with stavros but schwarzenegger made a [ __ ] you know hey i’ll tell you what galifianakis yes like like uh the great patrice o’neill but some of them are catchy galifianakis is the last [ __ ] shitty last name i’m gonna ever hear and he ended up being true but anyway anyways i have another story you’re probably not going to give a [ __ ] about this but only fans theodorakis no so what happened with all the fans did you hear what happened only fans do you know what only fans is it’s it describes the three people that hang up behind you what they’re your only fans hahaha oh shut up okay i know we’re only fans okay so uh what know people do you pay subscriptions watch them strippers went and basically they make porn now okay nobody goes to strip yeah these broads have been making a killing especially over the pandemic everyone was trapped in the house people were masturbating excessively it was a grand time right um yeah some people now here’s the thing so they a few days ago i think they came out and said we will no longer allow pornographic and explicit content on uh our website that’s what they said they said we will no longer allow explicitly pornographic which is different than what he said okay so you’re allowed stripping you’re not allowed inserting data yeah basically they’re not all out [ __ ] themselves uh sex tapes they would stop everything they’d go bankrupt oh yeah for sure so you could strip and do striptease but you’re not gonna have sex on only fans yeah basically they could do that well think again and uh but now apparently there was such a backlash uh there’s a joke in there somewhere a backlash well it wasn’t the backlash it’s just they realized that a lot of people that make the most money which also gives them money we’re doing a lot of hardcore things yeah correct um basically the people that own the company realize they enjoy money yeah and then they retracted on it now i found a conspiracy they did and what’s the um uh the cancel culture people saying no about that they retract it and that everybody accepts no the the cancer culture doesn’t mind that because the scotch was mad they said you guys need to go [ __ ] yourselves that’s what we’re trying to do [Laughter] [Music] no i don’t think cancer culture cares like feminists because uh women empowerment empowerment and [ __ ] like that i don’t know how he’s women impairment the only ones he gets i’m vocally dyslexic guido okay poland poland visually unpleasant [Music] but um you’re audibly unlistenable i was gonna i found a conspiracy theory online that uh only fans the the big bosses of only fans actually did this on purpose to get so much media coverage in order to have more exposure on the planet so people could freak out and then reverse it how much of a percentage do you think it really is that by them doing that because maybe they just really did [ __ ] up the way um he said they realized oh [ __ ] wait we like money oh my god or do you remember no it’s a conspiracy worthy no this was just i’m not saying i believe it but it was just a conspiracy theory that i found online which side oh that they just like money yeah i think so too yeah no they’re just like they’re giving them a little too much credit but it’s crazy because i feel like the pandemic also what it caused was uh uh everything’s a [ __ ] conspiracy now right you know everything happens for a [ __ ] reason like uh like i’ll give you an example did you see the kanye west and drake feud no problem so kanye west the doxed drake’s uh where drake lives on the bridal path in toronto i have no clue bridal path is like west mount here it’s like beverly hills uh over there okay so and then he just uh like posted the video of him laughing but like nowadays like everything is a conspiracy everything’s like a marketing employer everything’s better drake or kanye [Music] good question no the proper answer is who gives a [ __ ] i’m kidding i like i like kanye but i respect drake because he’s canadian but i like kanye he’s i like this guy i think i gotta go with kanye but except for his new stuff except for his new stuff bro the last rabbit one kanye west song i just talk about his interviews oh i like this guy yeah he goes off the rails this guy off the rails crazy train and i was speaking of crazy trains [Laughter] i like the spot catch podcast what’s up this podcast wrong with me today bro you have too many iced lattes unlike this podcast that’s a train wreck i really love the the coffee you brought me the other day the ice latte i love the gesture but is it me or is there way too much sugar in that thing what iced latte what did he bring us on uh the other day when you oh yeah that wasn’t a frappe that was sugar with coffee oh no i got he did two teaspoons and in mine he put seven no i don’t think so well i i only drank half really i could i was i was yeah [ __ ] that much and i love sugar believe me i love shrimp so next time i’ll get the last i don’t know it was fine i’ll get you a half of a medium you’re sweeter than mine i don’t know anyway was you’re sweeter than mine oh yeah so how about your shitty segway yeah so speaking of uh of trains no you should go into the speaking of ice latte [Laughter] speaking of ice lattes this week’s top five and a half uh list is top five and a half are you ready you know while he’s doing um although i’m fighting with someone online oh jesus christ no no not him i wanna know what happened i’ll show you after okay you’re not ready for the list yet what do you mean it’s not list time yet oh it isn’t no you know who had a list schindler oscar schindler and speaking of [ __ ] you’re welcome [Music] top five and a half cool things the nazis did look at my body language so uh [Music] uh as politicians we promise this is tasteful so they ripped this out straight from widow’s diary [Music] so last week we spoke about the inventions of the nazis right technically it was things invented as a result of world war two yeah yeah [ __ ] like that but now [ __ ] like that it’s all the same we’re going even deeper the cool [ __ ] that they did such as number five oh boy what’s number five number five um number five significantly reduced the gypsy population uh accurate and yet not enough [Laughter] i gotta think of the gypsies well because the the [ __ ] gypsies bro trying to sell you flowers on in athens bro like maybe i’d gotten rid of a few more you know what a true story um around the eiffel tower um you go there you have a crap you take a picture you say look superman two you know that’s all i think about his eiffel towers because superman wait what how to hold on you lost me superman part two there’s a bomb in the eiffel tower he flies at the space and making how do we go from gypsies to the eiffel tower downstairs the eiffel tower getting a crap and there’s gypsies everywhere begging for money setting up bombs so i asked i asked when she because after a while it’s annoying because there’s so many asking you every two seconds even if you get the sum you should give it to everyone i said can you give me five euro she [ __ ] pulled out five euros yeah he told me this story she gave me five euro i was shocked and then she went to um to her gypsy friend and these things yeah [ __ ] i [ __ ] up oh though she hung out with the hunchback of notre dame was she a gypsy uh in the disney movie i think she was a gypsy and one of the disney what’s her name he’s a gypsy yeah she’s a gypsy don’t ask me how i know that that movie gave me hope because you looked like him yeah i could get a job at a church [Laughter] that’s a real hurrah they don’t let me in the local one i’d be really impressed if you told me who wrote the original i have no clue bro what it’s called you asked me who wrote the original was it victor hugo oh [ __ ] i’d be really smart if that’s it you want me i just know i just know the original stories of some of these disney movies like snow white was brutal the snow like snow white i gotta give credit where credit is due the original writer of the first ever hunchback of notre dame novel not the movie was victor hugo no was stephen king oh really yeah are you he’s being he’s he’s he’s being on a sarcastic or obviously it was a stephen king his father from 1812 or 1700 j.r.r tolkien you idiot was it just oh no he was uh this guy this guy was alive in world war one bro oh jrr tolkien yeah no you’re talking about the lord of the rings actually was written he’s talking about j.r he’s talking about the rings guy he’s not talking about the other guy you’re talking about j.r ewing yeah from dallas yeah what the [ __ ] is jr ewing that you’re talking about he also wrote the hobbit i’m talking about jrr tolkien no you’re talking about the wrong guy i’m not um you’re kind of why is it when you say jro tolkien makes it sound like there’s a t at the end of it yeah tolkien oh that was good tolkien jr tolkien the token you put in the video game tolkien it’s tolkien not listen it’s not token it’s tolkien how many tokens do you get if it was can it would be k-e-n it depends how you want to break it how are you going to break it to him bro i don’t know bro you want to break it in quarters and dimes i don’t know and dimes you get 10 tokens in quarters you get four tokens so on and so forth and pennies you get a hundred pennies don’t exist anymore well back in the days in usa back in the good old days in the good old days fun fact about pennies by the way made of copper uh that too but also the general cost hugo uh thank you it used to cost more to produce the pennies right that’s why we got rid of them yeah that’s what the government told us yeah but it was insane the fact that we even had them around notice that when you go to a store here it still comes out to like 1503 yeah and then we’ll position it and then they round it off yeah they round it up to the two cents more they go two cents up not two cents down yeah bastards well if they went two cents down would just be 01. but here here’s my question right everything is digitized right yeah so why you gotta round [ __ ] up excuse me yeah go walk into the bank and just say exactly that wait what are you saying why you gotta run what i’m saying is everything’s digitized right you can go buy pennies but that’s why i just told you how come the cash hold on hold on when you pay but when you pay uh by interact they don’t round it up normally they only round it up when you’re paying cash even interact you’re wrong i mean well look i can only round it up on you when you pay interest i can only speak for myself are you sure bro cause i’m pretty sure they only round it up when you’re paying cash because they can’t give you the change i have to check next time i pay i check the receipt i can only speak to myself so this is why i’m so broke like it’s a two dollar coffee store we gotta round it up to 187 dollars he’s like [ __ ] all right man i don’t understand the economy pretty much look if i program my cash register i’m not gonna program a pizza for you know 14.98 i’ll just put it at 17 or 16 15 and then when i add the quebec taxes and stuff it comes out to number do you know 1903 it’s it’s actually me if i wanted it to come out to an even 19 or 17 i have to figure out what it is before the taxes 14 37. you know why they do the 98.99 all that well because you’re lazy no it’s all psychological so basically people won’t they people don’t register it’s like it’s like at the pump they don’t register this if i put a pizza at 19 they buy it i put it at 21 they don’t buy it because you see 19 it’s less than 100 like 99 cents yeah yeah basically if you put 19.99 it’s gonna sell more than if you put 20. correct because they don’t the psychologically for some reason we’re all [ __ ] uh me more than anybody else we don’t register the 99 we just see the first number you know so oh 19 but then we see 20 oh it’s more expensive even though it’s a penny difference isn’t it crazy the way psychology they do the same thing with gas pumps the reason why it’s a dollar uh 31 5 let’s say half of a penny is for that exact same reason i forgot what the exact reason was though but it has something to do psychologically we’re way off topic here but now i want to ask i know this is uh who this like saudi arabia decide uh i ignored the sight of the whole the whole time right now i didn’t i didn’t do what you did i did not go into it well i knew where he was going i didn’t want my brain to be affected what what what decided to pretend that it was just you who decides gas pump prices the government isn’t it the with the price of a barrel whatever it is in like really anyway every time i put gas in my car it’s always 20 bucks gas never changes that’s not true you’re just putting 20 bucks yeah the amount of gas you put in but i don’t care i got my own problems bro it cost me [ __ ] to fill up i wasn’t even at uh i was about a quarter i wasn’t even empty bro [ __ ] 76 dollars but i was losing my shout outs like what the [ __ ] that’s that’s the bright yeah and it automatically says okay we’re pre-loading it uh 250 bucks yeah i’m like what do you think i’m driving a boat yeah you’re right oh you’d be surprised how many cars can fit 250 bucks of course yeah i put the maximum the maximum quality of gas and i can’t go uh but if you lost 200 and you pump 90 they’re not going to charge you no i know but i just mean at the maximum maximum yeah like the fact that the 200 is the option what are you 50 right right it’s a dodge ram yeah that’s it it’s always a dog you know but like uh i remember uh ford f-150 [ __ ] one time it was a mercedes uh gle or something or the equivalent of a gle now how big is that tank i don’t know it must have been 100 liters right it must have been 100 liters because they they put the super uh uh you know they put the super it was like 200 bucks bro but because they have to put the super they give you this option on 87 uh ordinaire regular yeah no 87 or diner if it costs 250 you’re you’re driving around the [ __ ] school bus no literally a boat yeah no why was that so funny because it’s a good example yeah uh i want to ask a clerk one day and i’m going to make sure to ask him while there’s a lineup of people behind me what do you want to ask us how often does a 200 gas bill show up sir and then he’s going to say excuse me i don’t think he gives a [ __ ] i like when i’m in a hurry and the lady in front of me has to play nine lottery tickets speaking of gasps always if you’re in a hurry speaking of clerks by the way i gave it to the the gas station clerk the other day he gave it to him i gave it to him yes in the ass bro how’d you know bro uh no no i gave it to him like uh first of all this guy sees me for the past year and a half i would say every [ __ ] day for either coffee cigarettes or gas oh the one over here yeah every [ __ ] day you know the problem is i’ll tell you why you pissed them off because every single day you’re buying cigarettes and coffee while passing gas that’s the problem [Music] he’s on fire no yeah you are clever very close yeah but every [ __ ] day i really don’t drink this guy would ask me you know what i’m gonna have it i’m i’m dying a thirst here this guy would ask me for my id even though he’s seen me a hundred [ __ ] times and then last time i don’t know bro i guess i was on a bad date i’ll give you that one i guess i was on a bad day and the guy asked me for my id i go bro haven’t you seen me a hundred [ __ ] times by now haven’t you seen it at least a dozen times my idea now you don’t know what [ __ ] age i am bro you don’t know who i am at this point bro like what’s your problem do you do this on purpose to piss me off oh any panic sorry sorry you know they stopped asking my id when i uh stopped coloring my hair when i became miss you this is when i became misused yeah i know if i mean you could be a very young kid with a condition i wonder if i dye my hair like what color if they’d asked me for id probably well i have some grades i look like i’m 50 years old yeah they say miss you all the time sir yeah i always just say sure to everyone even people younger than me either like when i worked sales out of respect i don’t know professionalism did you say ma’am always because not girls don’t always like ma’am they like miss because man makes him feel like an old lady mom unless you’re from the south ma’am a high of there ma’am are we doing our top five yes we are moving on to number four yes the nazis how do we go down this rabbit hole sometimes that happens number four discontinued shitty moustache style yes so um the charlie chap the charlie chaplin the only famous person i knew to ever rock that thing besides uh you know hitler yeah was uh michael jordan yeah yeah jordan brought it back i wonder what was going through his head i don’t know that’s it’s really it’s really interesting when he decided to do that he’s shaving and he’s like oh yeah this will be cool yeah i don’t know maybe some something stupid like that he just he was thinking of championships how many do you want nine bro he’s on fire what’s up bro right what do you write these down bro these are all stupid but they’re no but they’re fast yeah they’re not singers uh you know what else michael jordan has this weird what he has like some kind of jaundice or something where his the whites of his eyes are yellow oh yeah yeah in the documentary it was like that what is that yeah what is that what am i [ __ ] doctor here’s look i thought i thought that was a zombie is that like a living a liver issue or something it might just be uh do people still care for michael jordan uh michael everybody cares about michael jordan no how was that billions of dollars jordan and he lost half of it gambling apparently by the way michael jordan his father died i typed in michael jordan yellow and immediately it said his eyes and health and [ __ ] why are his eyes it’s worrying why do eyes turn yellow no it says it’s worrying his fans his eye color i said also someone please check michael jordan’s eyes one person was saying that uh i’ll never forget apparently because his father was killed his father didn’t around the whole [ __ ] around the time he went from uh basketball to baseball he was a shitty baseball player and went back to even though he was a shitty baseball player sold all kinds of merch because it was michael jordan playing yeah of course then uh when he changed his number from 23 and went back one is johnson uh jaundice rather and the other one is the other is like a benign growth what’s growth he’s it’s either jaundice or some kind of what’s the jaundice well john french i don’t think it comes from that it does come from that 100 you think so 100 it’s not called bananas it’s most likely jaundice he’s always had it for like for years yeah i always it’s very noticeable yeah but anyway i i i heard a rumor that his father was killed because of his gambling deaths because guys when they’re that high rollers they literally gamble like a hundred grand a shot i know a few people that um killed people no no no that there were gamblers on the mount the mob was after them they made a lot of people around them suffer crazy [ __ ] um yeah that’s fun yeah anyways if you gamble gamble all your money like i did yes just try not to lose it i still can’t find it anywhere i’ve been looking all over the place number three nasa space program oh [ __ ] that technically is true yeah that’s cool right right so after world war ii what happened is the americans because you know all about being able to do it not being well the americans were going up against the russians so how does this you’re talking about operation uh well he doesn’t talk he wants to talk about operation paperclip but he doesn’t did you research number three i did not know i didn’t have the time but all i know [Laughter] so all i know is that after world war ii uh you know when russia and america you know the allies and and russia they they met face to face and [ __ ] uh the americans were like nah bro we’re gonna take these nazi science scientists because you you are bad communism and you know us good good capitalism not even close to what happened yeah are you trying to imply that the americans said to uh former nazi soldiers no no don’t worry you’re gonna get a pass come and be assigned nazi scientists and we’re gonna keep you because you’re scientists yeah even though you mean there was nothing to do with the the what he talked about with the russians that’s just made oh no that yeah i was just busting balls rocky iv i was just [ __ ] around with that no but that legit happened after world war ii the americans took all the nazi scientists instead of [ __ ] imprisoning them and [ __ ] they brought them over to the united states of america and basically had them work on uh [ __ ] uh for nasa spaceships yeah spaceships and [ __ ] developing developing technology von braun is the true last name of dr emmett brown yeah because that’s the guy that uh was responsible for nasa’s space program a nazi um i remember in part three uh marty goes uh well let’s try to find the uh the browns no no no my family were called the von brauns we have to change our name 1.21 gigawatts what okay number movie number two two two okay this one’s a bit of a reach though they all are indirectly created swiss banks didn’t you want to have fun you want to have fun you want to have fun watch this explain okay now here’s the thing right so you know these [ __ ] the swiss banks right they existed before they’re not they did but during well now but then that means that what you just said is false do you know what i asked the modern day i said did you research this or is it theory he goes theory it’s not even theory it’s it’s it’s complete it’s this is a waste of uh of a number hold on hold on no no no no it’s got more holes than swiss cheese oh i see what you did there i’ll allow it so should i go through with my thoughts yeah yeah continue because okay so so you know you know how they they they uh kept nazi gold and [ __ ] yeah and then they stole it you know after world war ii and everything um i think that had a play in the modern day swiss banks where you know people would hide money and [ __ ] no they were already doing that before that’s what we’re trying to tell you that’s why the nazis put their gold and their money in there that’s just what the swiss always did not just toblerone bro oh i don’t know that toddler was delicious yeah it is did you know the logo is a bear climbing a mountain someone told me that i thought it was paramount pictures no that’s totally wrong all right no matter oh no on an airplane for some reason i love toblerone i haven’t had it forever but that’s a very strange you ever noticed you i only discovered toblerone on a plane i never it wasn’t it didn’t used to be available in stores you know when i was a kid i used to break the triangles off like a [ __ ] the other way so did i and then i saw then i saw somebody [ __ ] pressing them and they break so smoothly is that crazy russian hacker or something yeah yeah yeah you’re supposed to press it down like a pez dispenser yeah it has a little sections for you to push yeah but you’re supposed to push down yeah i’ve ripped them off like him too well used to that’s how 95 percent of people will eat a toddler and rip it off like when i was a kid i would eat it i would just go you’re supposed to press it down and sometimes like i would struggle and [ __ ] i was like why did i break it off was it crazy russian hacker i think it was i think it was this is how you do it the guy that has a speech impediment yeah this is how you pour juice not like that yeah that guy yeah well he has a speech impediment the guy’s speaking russian and english is his fourth language it’s not bad there’s a lot of videos about how to eat toblerone the right way bro what did i see the other day that blew my mind how do i how how to do it properly my [ __ ] my mango i think i spoke about this you showed us already you showed me or you asked me i was at the bar yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah bro mango brows blown up because mango was my favorite fruit okay mango just said you’re supposed to push inward instead of outward right now but he said it his way uh uh just quickly australia three different types of mangoes that’s how wonderful their produce is yeah are all three of them in jail due to covenant but the locally grown best mango’s ever had really anyways so mine goes bro yeah you should cut around you go click click and then like this and then you struggle with a seed and [ __ ] and all this [ __ ] there’s a hack to this smash it against the wall no what you do is you grab it elongate it like this yeah did i speak about this yesterday yes yes you did you grabbed it i did that yeah like that like that so here give me this so you grab it like this and it’s elongated like this and then you cut around all the way around like this and then you twist come see it comes clean off my friend [Music] number one indiana jones movies they they didn’t create them but they definitely had an influence on them besides the second one where they go to bangkok palace not bangkok palace but bangkok palace like the way you say poland you’re in bangkok no it’s bangkok they say bangkok and so that appears to be indian the old man that discovered them when they were in the raft he also had michael jordan eyes remember this scary old man with the white hair that’s that’s a good song she had michael jordan eyes she’s got better day besides and she sees you i don’t think he knows the song that i was with i don’t even know it you just sing but um part one is about um uh there’s nazis in part one where the guy’s face melts off and then in part three this is how we say goodbye in what does she say in poland and this is how we say goodbye in germany dr jones oh [ __ ] it’s a great movie but not just indiana jones i would go as far as to say they they they did a cool thing for like a lot of like like for video games stop saying the nazis are cool i’m not saying that they were cool no you just said they invented like for pop culture and [ __ ] like the villains and all this [ __ ] like the wolf and the fine video game the original game was the super mussolini brothers hey luigi no no no like uh like hang upside down uh but i’m kind of upset right now i get what you’re trying to say uh like wolfenstein uh they didn’t invent that no no villains in movies villains in movies like uh it’s either cold war or spies or russians or or nazis or or uh terrorists yeah or not you’re right about that that’s what i kind of meant by yeah exactly so that’s uh that’s what we’re going with and the half whoa boy it ain’t over till it’s over huh if you stuck around this long you’re an idiot we heart you israel okay that’s true that’s the truest thing you said it’s true yeah uh i was talking around with the other ones but you don’t mess with the zohan yeah because that’s all i know about israel besides the fact that i want i want to do a pilgrimage one day and walk in the you know in the steps of christ but you know they have the dead sea it’s like going to the states it’s very americanized i don’t walk in the steps of christ it’s beautiful well not not those steps but not not exactly those steps but the other stuff so go in the ground see the dead sea has so much salt that you actually float and you drink the fizzy bubbling and you play hacky sack something about that c also you can’t stay in it for too long otherwise you die yes no it’s because there’s too many people that you need to go in it’s a big lineup you can’t stay too long something about you no john the baptist will baptize you that’s right in the dead sea that’s where he did is that what he did or i don’t even remember john the jesus’s cousin anyways what i’m trying to say is if it weren’t for the nazis israel wouldn’t exist that’s true though but again is that really an invention or they didn’t do it it was indirectly like you have a mixture of indirect and direct stuff can you tell i was really busy at the restaurant and left him alone the list doesn’t make that much sense because some stuff is directly them and other stuff is indirectly there yeah one of the you know when you remember little tidbits in movies yeah uh in temple of doom indiana jones is uh escaping uh after the diamond goes in the ball and he leaves with short round the little kid and the blonde girl and he jumps on a plane and he says nice try lao che and he closes the airplane door i’ve never seen an indiana jones movie and now the airplane door says lao che on it and lao che the you know uh asian gangster after he says nice try laucher and close the door laucos goodbye dr jones because he knows the plane is going to crash it’s great movie you haven’t seen indiana jones not a single one of them you stink i’ve only seen clips online like uh where the guy shows up with a gun and then indiana jones uses his whip they’re having like a duel yeah that’s a famous scene there that’s really the true story about that is they had a whole fight choreographed but uh harrison ford had uh tourista he had like diarrhea because he ate the local food oh [ __ ] so he he couldn’t he wasn’t feeling good that’s what happened to me when i was down in cuba you shot a guy with a whip uh no i had diarrhea it’s not the food that’s bad it’s that your body it doesn’t process the water or something that’s every day no how many shits did you take today four yeah that’s that’s not normal or normal [ __ ] no no no no four shits is not normal at all i’m a big guy still that doesn’t change anything bro you [ __ ] based on height everybody knows that you got a [ __ ] twice maybe once i remember one time when i was a kid raw i held on my i held in my [ __ ] for like a really long time and then i became constipated bro and then the amount of [ __ ] that came out i clocked the bathroom just by the [ __ ] not by the toilet paper not by the toilet paper bro it was nuts evil evil came out of you yeah yeah yeah it was an exorcism right you had to call the fire department worried about your son i mean excessive amount of poop but also the amount of semen we found in there oh god leads us to believe he’s living an alternative lifestyle forced onto me by my uncle all right all right i think that’s a cute to close the show right let’s close out that wait i wanted to mention something i forgot where you told me earlier today you’re you’re wonderful under siege to ebony porn father uh i started chatting he started joining the chat oh yeah i completely forgot to mention this your father started did i mention that your father joined the chat in the in the morning show yeah and how did you know it was your father because he writes the way that he speaks yeah so he goes hey there uh cool poseidon and fellow people and your father and fellow and fellow people hello fellow people very handsome he writes foreign for sure i would imagine your it’s like father probably very handsome too perhaps short look like a muscular mouse so your father joined the chat and you joined the chat from a mile away you knew it was in the smell of yeah were you embarrassed he as soon as he got in the chat it reeked of pyramid scheme [Laughter] well at first i was annoyed i was like what are you doing bro like you’re [ __ ] no what are you doing pops not bro what are you doing pops you [ __ ] and he kept saying things like listen here she pull you’re all big dude yeah yeah crazy anyways well saturn runs a farm well he was just crazy yeah that was which by the way you know what in a way i’m a little bit proud of him because he actually listened to me this time well there you go nobody listens to you huh i listen to you he stopped and you said stop uh no something about like uh something you should purchase oh a hummer no a hum dinger all right uh that’s it that’s all we got for today ladies and gentlemen thank you for joining us on this wonderful episode of the intellectuals you can find me the simon669 on instagram and twitter twitch.tv slash episode 969 our live stream warzone pantaloons comedy.com for all his stuff yeah he’s producing this show patreon.com tells for exclusive [ __ ] and a chance to win some merch i’m very um i’m very sorry i can’t believe we’re now we got guido grass so little guys will join me on instagram and they can also find your restaurant sapporo napoli on what’s the street called somebody on dude somebody uh wrote something that they can but they didn’t they came into the restaurant but they didn’t say hi to me like or or they didn’t identify themselves as listeners uh but they wrote in the comments that they came and we don’t try to rape them and then i tried to rape them that’s correct wait they wrote that no oh they said they ate the pizza and they didn’t oh okay but they raped the people but they did not identify themselves uh as identify yourself civilians well they would have gotten a free dessert or something you know i would have hooked them up yeah oh that’s sweetie yeah all right speaking of which also bro the pasta the chef made [ __ ] fantastic that was something else too complicated bro i don’t speak pakistani thank you guys and peace out [Music] you
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The Intellectuals | Episode 38 | Cool Things The Nazis Did

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