Thrusting for Australia | Sammy J (S4 Ep24)admin
INTERVIEWER: Here comes Sam Jacksonnstraight out of the pool. Sam, Sam, congratulations, mate,non finally finishing that race. What do you have to saynto your fans back home? (BLEEP) yeah! That was the best (BLEEP) thingnI’ve ever done in my (BLEEP) life. What a (BLEEP, BLEEP, BLEEP) thing.nYeah! Whoo! Well, hang on, you just swamnthe slowest 50-metre freestyle time in Olympic history. You must be devastated. Oh, no, no, I’m ecstatic. I just finished my eventnat the Tokyo Olympics in 2021, and I didn’t get COVID. Whoo!nOK. But it took you 24 minutesnand 48 seconds to finish. You’ve come dead last.nYeah, yeah. It was a terrible time. But, like I said,nI don’t have COVID. We did it. Yeah! Well, your coachncertainly looks happy. Sam, just 12 months ago, you were the world record holdernin this event. Did the pressure get to you?nNo, not at all. I was pretty relaxed out there,nI think. I mean, you saw me. I just took almost half an hournto do one lap of the pool. So, sorry, that swimnwas intentional? Like, I knew since last year I was going to have to attendnthese games during a pandemic. That’s why I got rid ofnmy old swim coach and hired an epidemiologist instead. And, you know, huge thanks tonDr Boxall for keeping me COVID free. Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! OK, so tell us what wasngoing through your mind while you were standingnon those starting blocks today? Oh, look, a lot of things,nbut, mainly… ..”Don’t get COVID.” OK, do you think swimming with anmask on might have slowed you down? It’s possible.nI just wanted to be safe, you know. So that’s why you actuallyndidn’t dive into the pool until all the other competitorsnhad finished? Yeah, my coaching teamnand I figured out the safest way to not get COVID was to not be in anpool with any of the other athletes. So I’m really happy with that start. OK, talk us through your decision tonstop swimming at the 25 metre mark and just tread water for 15 minutes. Well, it turns out the safest placento be in Tokyo right now is by yourself in the middle ofnan Olympic swimming pool. 25 metres of water in front of me, 25 minutes behind -nthat’s social distancing. Well, you took so long to finish that two officials had to jump innand try and get you out. Yeah, no, that caught me by surprise. When I saw them, I just thought, “OK, I’d better get cracking here,”nyou know. I mean, they might have COVID. Yeah, but then you started bobbingnup and down saying “Marco Polo.” By then I was justnhaving a bit of fun. I also had the advice of ournPrime Minister ringing in my ears. And what advice was that?nIt’s not a race. But this is literally a race.nYeah. A race not to get COVID. And I just won the gold medal, baby!nWhoo! (GRUNTS) Sorry. Is your coach OK? Ah, no, he’s fine.nIt’s just what he does. When he’s happy, he thrusts. He’s thrusting for Australia. Rightio, well, your parents arenno doubt watching from back home. Do you think they’d be proud ofnhow you swam tonight? (SIGHS) Yeah, I hope so. I mean, they’ve been with menevery step of the way. You know, it’s every little boy’sndream to swim in an Olympic Games, in front of no-one, with artificial crowd noises, where you can’t celebratenor touch anyone, where you’re sleeping on a cardboardnbed and when even the locals are protesting the existencenof the entire event. So, yeah.nVery proud mum and dad right now. Well, Sam, you’ve got then100-metres freestyle tonight. Is there any chance to turnnthings around by then? I’ll certainly do my best. Well, we can’t asknfor more than that. My best not to get COVID!nAussie! Aussie! Aussie! (BLEEP) yeah. WHOO! OK, mate. It’s a family show. Thanks very much. That was Sam Jackson,na very happy loser.