Ups & Downs From AEW Dynamite (25 Aug)

Ups & Downs From AEW Dynamite (25 Aug)

i am going to be a sycophantic piece of trash for a minute and trust me if i heard somebody else saying it’s been like man that guy’s such a loser i want to punch him right in the face but given everything that has happened in aw over the last week and since october 2019 i just want to say thank you very much tony khan i am enjoying your product very much lee it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy in my tum tum and it gets me excited about professional wrestling that’s all i need in my life of course this was a big episode of aew dynamite because it was half the hills off cm punk returning to pro wrestling everyone be like oh my gosh i’m melting down i can’t believe this is happening but does that mean it gets enough or does that mean it gets it down there’s only one way to find out and you have done it already you clicked the video so let’s up those downsw dynamite [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] and as already hinted at i was so excited for this episode of aew dynamite because we’d set the hook not that one and i just wanted to see what was going to go down the ridiculous thing here is said hook was just man says some words and basically what i’m telling you here is that i was very pumped for this cm punk interview before we get to the show properly too once again all you lovely human beings have just showered me with praise as well because there was no less than three simon give me enough signs on this week’s episode of aew dynamite and even better thing about this is sometimes i don’t see them because i’m a bored a-hole but you send them to me on twitter and that makes water come out of my eyes i think all of you are just wonderful wonderful individuals and as always you all get it up our very first contest on this evening though was matt hardy taken on orange cassidy because as you know they’ve been involved in some kind of a blood feud my word that was very literal tonight i just kind of felt like the world was against this one they started off with a whole hand in my pocket delete back and forth which i’m always going to enjoy because as you know i’m a massive fan of goofy professional wrestling and what i especially liked here is that matt hardy at one point pulled a bunch of money out of his pockets and when orange cassidy got said money later on matt was like nope and he took back his cash those kind of things will always make me laugh the real problem was halfway through matt hardy’s nose was busted open and i think it may have been broken after he’s hit with a crossbody or a ddt and all i could do for the rest of this thing was look at it and think to myself what the hell has happened to that man’s face because it looked super duper nasty and all of a sudden orange cassidy was being jeff hardy as he was doing swontom bombs and he even tried to do a twist of fate that didn’t work out very well it also had kind of a weird finish because from nowhere orange just did hit the most devastating world with all the sports entertainment the surprise roll up put his hands back in his pockets and he got the one two three and this took me so much by surprise i looked at my television and i just went ah do not get me wrong this was more than fine i always enjoy the silliness maybe we’ve just kind of got into a pattern where dynamite does start and it’s all go go go go 100 miles per hour but by the time we got to the end of this one oh yeah i just felt just a teeny weeny little bit flat maybe that’s me maybe i should have drunk some coffee but i am going to give it a down malachi black then told us that if brock anderson does come to the ring later for their match he’s gonna kill him and i think he meant it too i saw the knife i’m kidding there was no life seriously this felt like the entire thing was a terrible idea and that aew were crazy for even sanction it to begin with that just makes the character of malachi black come across as terrifying so i think we’re doing our job all elite wrestling then kept things simple and as we are remembering sometimes in pro wrestling that’s all you need to do because chris jericho is out and man he’s so sad now because he went through all these labors and he put his body against everything but when push came to shove and it was time to take down mjf from his pedestal not only did he lose but he tapped out so now he doesn’t know what the hell to do when he just walks around with his brain going mgm jfmgf mgf it doesn’t sound very healthy chris i think you should go talk to someone instead he has come up with another plan which is to have one more contest against maxwell jacob friedman at all out pay-per-view and if he loses he shall retire to the commentary desk forever now i totally get it in professional wrestling when we do have the oh my gosh they’re going to leave the company stipulation you instantly go well i doubt that is going to happen because it rarely happens however i think aew has done enough in the past just to plant that teeny bit sound of doubt where you go well maybe just maybe and maybe it’s all you ever need jericho called maxwell out and eventually he did arrive and he acted like a girlfriend and broken up with their boyfriend and was sick and tired of their ex-partner kept calling he was like chris jericho i’m done with you you’re really boring and he had a t-shirt on is it mgf3 jericho zero and it looked like some kid had designed it however as sweet as it was making la champion tap out what would be even better and the cherry on the top would be retiring chris jericho so he accepted and said of course when it comes to the pay-per-view i’m gonna win maybe he will maybe he won’t that’s why you buy it to find out and i’ve seen some of the criticisms with some people saying man we should be done with this by now but i think we need to put a little bit of faith in all elite wrestling they barely let us down before so i’m gonna wait and see quick promo with the varsity blondes who said they’re going to beat the lucha brothers in around about the next eight seconds to go on to the finals of the tag team title eliminated tournament kind of sucked to be them because they were wrong the young bucks came out to watch this because of course they are the champions and sure maybe this wasn’t as good as some people were expecting but it’s like pizza every time you eat it it always gives you something and it makes you feel satisfied to some level i’m giving it up my man griff garrison hope you’re well dude and phoenix started things off but when they realized they were basically each other’s equal they tagged him penter and brian pillman jr who had a very different way of approaching this because pender just booted brian right in the face so brian hit up step up rana and i think this annoyed the masked man even more because he just chopped the ship out of him i felt it in my house and apparently there were some wobbly moments here but remember one they’re human and two these moves are called high risk maneuvers because the risk is maybe they’re not going to come off but we still saw a bunch of stuff you’re like how are they doing this i can’t even get out of bed in the morning without hurting my ass and we saw like an assisted top rope dive these people don’t make any sense the blondes were able to fight back with griff garrison hitting a crossbody onto phoenix but i think this worried penta as he saw all his tag team dreams and hopes floating away so once again we had a finish out of nowhere they just hit the spiked car driver one two three and that was this but look man a clean finish on a wrestling show i will take that any day of the week and straight after this the jurassic express were here and they stared down with their next challenges when of course the young bucks got involved because matt nick jackson are a couple of goofs but they pushed the boy in the dinosaur into the lucha brothers hoping this would spark a massive brawl but this didn’t work at least four guys all worked their ass instead i just want to say i enjoy how much of the butt of the joke the young bucks will always make themselves it’s almost like that’s their job andra they had uh chavo with them backstage and they said that yes come all out andrade is gonna beat pac because andrade is the better wrestler and i did my wrestling match and that is true if you have better wrestler taking a worse wrestler nine times out of ten the better wrestler will win as ever the build to this has just been absolutely crazy but that match is going to be fire and i truly mean this could even steal the show jamie hater and red velvet then had a really good match with one noticeable mistake we want to know what i thought they dealt with this so well it made me want to get them off my couch and just applaud them because wrestling is really hard and they dealt with it like pros baker and rebel were here as well maybe we should attack in red velvet as many times as they could because even though they’re meant to be the bad guys they’re treated like the good guys so that’s going to be very interesting going forward and it seemed like red velvet had the win when she went for her standing moonsault very sadly for her she landed right on her face there’s every chance that i’ve been worked and this was the plan and if so damn right give it to me that’s what pro wrestling is all about but as soon as jamie hater realized this it was like a tiger who knew their prey was damaged she got up she whooped her ass she hit her with his massive lariat and she pinned her for the one two three and this was totally believable because one error led to the finish which is what can happen in real sports and honestly they showed experience here beyond their years i also think jamie hater is going to be really good in a few weeks if she keeps decimating people like this i enjoyed it much lately hater and rebel then continued the assault afterwards until of course chris statlando was here be like oh my gosh can you believe it i’m an alien and we are going to do brick baker versus chris statland at all out once again i’m fine with this dude then the dark order fell out and i was like what is even the point anymore why don’t you just rip my heart out of my soul like kano and flush it down the toilet i mean what the flub is the point because they were stood here as a unit as evil uno tried to explain why they didn’t help hangman adam page a few weeks ago when alex reynolds went wait a minute i don’t agree with our actions and you know what evil who know i think you’re a crappy leader and i don’t want to be your friend anymore and he walked off and this is probably because uno snapped back at him and said why don’t you get out of john silva’s shadow and i was like oh man that’s going to be hard to come back from and this was like watching your parents get divorced i can’t take this i don’t have the moxie to get through it but my word what an intriguing storyline and what a cool direction to take the dark order for that alone is getting up cm punk then said words up i know that’s ridiculous but it’s gonna be this way for a while the novelty is just so joyous tony shavani was on interviewer duties here and if you are interested in trivia this is what they were gonna do on rampage before tony can’t change his mind i said nah man let’s just start the show and send cm punk on out of air and as always the fans absolutely loved this and some more on on twitter went when it wasn’t as loud as the other day no my friend it wasn’t it wasn’t as loud as one of the biggest bumps in pro wrestling history i mean what planet are you living on the amount of lines that punk dropped here too i mean he put a bunch of the talent over in the back before he addressed derby allen and said the big question i have for myself is can i still go and that journey starts with you darby allen by the way also if i was a 15 year old kid you would be my favorite wrestler at the time the derby allen through all of this is just becoming a bigger and bigger star crowd started to chant yes so cm then said well that’s somebody else’s stick so you’re going to have to be a little bit more patient so now we’re filling all the punk rumors with daniel bryan rumors which is just gonna leave me a mess on the floor because it’s all too much for my brain and then said he is returning not to prove the hate is wrong but to prove himself right my word i couldn’t be rooting for this man anymore he also shouted out his wife aj lee to end this so that was just lovely and wonderful on all positive type of words and at the start of it he also said that he’s retiring the nickname the voice of the voiceless because wrestling does have a voice now it’s called aew this was truly tremendous i’m also just genuinely happy that cm punk is back and seeing how happy he is makes me more happy too that’s all we want in life we just want to get through each and every day and feel warm and fuzzy in my tum tum and at the moment it’s overflowing i’m going to throw up mirror then decided he wanted it on this too because he was kind of backstage video promo talking about eddie kingston when he said bring me the mad king before i burn this place down i tell you mero is the best person on the planet and i won’t hear the argument otherwise this was also very handy because next up we did have eddie kingston john moxley and derby allen with sting in their corner taking on the wingmen with peter avalon in their corner and the word of the day or the word for the next 10 minutes was fun up i was laughing right away because ryan nemeth was just posing in front of eddie kingston like he was just thrusting his groin as if that’s a really good idea so do you know what ed did back just took his hand and he chopped the ship out of him once again i was chuckling away i’m a very stupid man i think it’s offended cesar benoni because he got in there and started getting into like a shoulder tackle battle with eddie kingston but then moxie was bored of all of this so he threw everybody out the ring i just want to say between the wingmen and 2.0 i am filled up to my boots with nonsense tag teams and i can’t get enough of it but only actually took over for a while and beat up john moxey before he got the tag to eddie kingston and then there was a bit of hoopla that ended with marks biting jd drake’s face so he’s totally insane and of course the next part was to hot tagging derby allen he ran wild and he won fans went nuts too because he is the man and he did hit the coffin drop on to jake to get the one two three and the best part about all of it is that sting was just being this intimidating figure on the outside constantly this must be the best he’s been used ever since his heyday in derby scene earlier this continued to when danny garcia just ran out to try and attack derby allen but he was chased away by sting and friends i’m really intrigued to see where we go with danny garcia and of course 2.0 the directions are endless that’s a massive over exaggeration but what a great way to introduce a bunch of new talent we also started to build towards the casino women’s batter all out which is going to happen in the buy-in drawing all out because ty conte was here saying oh man i’m gonna win when the bunny approached her said no don’t worry about that come join the hardy family stable or whatever they’re called conte didn’t want to do that so she ripped the contract up and then they had a big fight was that legit worried about ftr as well now maybe they’re working me once again hell yeah that’s the whole point but we had them here and they were talking about cash wheeler’s injury and if you haven’t seen it and you have a strong stomach go and look at it on the internet it is disgusting but the point is is that maybe they only have one more match left in them because he can’t go anymore now i really hope this isn’t true and if it is true i just want to send all the best wishes and health to him but honestly this really made me feel for the guy i didn’t really understand how bad it was wrestling as we always forget is so damn dangerous we then had some solid stuff with our aew world title program too and the real joy of this was kenny omega and don callis and i know i say this every single time but on multiple occasions during this they made me laugh out loud because they’re just such idiots and as it turns out i really love idiots i am learning a lot about myself but eventually christian cage came out here because they were just insulting him and they reminded us of the story that it was don gallus who booked him in his first wrestling match before he fired his ass because of christian reminded us he’s nothing but a kylie piece of all of a sudden though omega had the microphone and he started saying do you think you know me you think me know me which of course is the lyrics to edge’s theme so that was it i was gone and then don callis continue this by saying look here’s what you’re gonna learn when we get to that pay-per-view you’ve always been second best which of course is another reference to edge cage had had enough of this though but he totally forgot how mass works that he tried to beat up around about 32 people before frankly frankie kazarian carried on his oath to his dying day which is to hunt the elite came out with some kind of bat or some kind of weapon and he chased the ball away and all this did was make me want to see christian cage versus kenny omega but more important than that it made me laugh and as i’m realizing if you make me laugh in any walk of life you win we also then learned that john moxley is going to be taking on kojima at all out now i think originally it was meant to be tanahashi but plans change pal but who cares do you know how violent and how nuts and how hard-hitting this thing is going to be i’m here for it it was then the factory taking on the gun club and this was a little bit weird oh i was on commentary 2 which made all the sense in the world because of course paul white and qt marshall are going to face off at all out but then we got to the finish and i kind of just scratched my head and it was fine throughout and at one point qt marshall was in charge so he stood up and he pointed at paul white and paul white was on commentary didn’t like that so he pointed right back but because of this he distracted himself he got hit with the most devastating move in all of sports entertainment lost one two three and all of this kind of just happened now once again i wouldn’t say it was bad and qt marshall gets his role here and he played it perfectly but this came and it went the fans didn’t really get into it because nobody was really sure what the point was and we haven’t really seen the gun club much on dynamite i know they’re connected but i don’t know i don’t really know what to say about it and they’re all very talented but i do think it has to get it down it was then revealed that dan lambert i think is now managing ethan page and scorpio sky and i tell you i never knew i needed these three people as a unit but on this day i’ve realized yes i do they just look so good as a tree i mean lambert was running everybody down here saying orange cassidy and sammy guevara sucks because they’re not real men they’re idiots which is why the fans like them because the fans also aren’t real men and they’re idiots but i tell you who are raw men scorpio sky and ethan page i am on the down low excited about this they could become a very good act and we then ended dynamite with a murder we started with alan anderson in the back who was telling us how worried he was about his son which was absolutely true why the hell were we sending him to the ring and then we did send him to the ring to take on malachi black who as i’ve already stated basically murdered him now brock was able to get some offense in there but that’s the equivalent of me saying i’m not bored anymore because i was able to sprout a few hairs on my head and basically malachi just blackmassed him right in the face and he pinned him and look all of this allowed malachi black to come across like some kind of demon warrior so for that reason although i’m giving it up what i didn’t really understand though is what we did afterwards because aunt anderson got in the ring as he must do to protect his boy malachi black went to give him the black mess but like i think arnold anderson has like a metal plate alex luger or something he just blocked it with his arm which begs the question why nobody else has done this leading malachi black to boot him right in the balls he then did hit the black mass on aunt anderson when all of a sudden lee johnson was out here to save the day which is fine i think you need to build people by putting them in these kind of positions but the commentators didn’t react to his music for around about eight seconds the fans didn’t really know what was going on and it just felt a little bit rushed i’m all for trying new things that i’ve said time and time again i have no problem with all of these guys being in the main event again that’s how you build stars but did this come off the way that i think aw wanted it to come off i would guess the answer is no and like i said when the end credits rolled i was a bit like i don’t know if i’ve missed something but i don’t feel like i understand and malachi black is still the man i bet we do good things with brock anderson and lee johnson is going to be a super duper mega star but sometimes you swing and sometimes you miss there’s nothing wrong with this again you’ve got to do the attempt it doesn’t mean on a show called ups and downs we’ve got to give it a down and i also think it’s kind of fair to say that maybe this wasn’t the bombastic dynamite we were expecting after cm punk but let’s all calm down it was still more than watchable i was sports entertained it’s absolutely getting enough and i couldn’t be more excited about all out which is the pay-per-view where you put money down to buy things and that is the entire point now please do leave a comment below and let us know what you thought about last night’s aew dynamite like the video share the video and subscribe head on over to whatculture.com where you can stay up to date with all the news including when daniel bryan may debut in aew come say hello on social media and watch every single ups and downs and video you can as i watch wrestling so you don’t have to mind me time for what culture thank you for joining me as always and i will see your ass not literally very soon
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Ups & Downs From AEW Dynamite (25 Aug)

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